For JellyBean

Just a random image I found and said "Even though I know it doesn't .. JellyBean's RL tree should look like this."

Wrapping Paper Sucks

When I lived at home with my parents, I used to have my mom wrap all my gifts because she was SO particular. She liked them to be wrapped a certain way, and they had to look pretty. I never really understood because hey - they're just going to get torn open anyway, right?! Well the other day I couldn't find scissors to wrap a few of Keith's gifts so I ended up just ripping the paper from the roll. A day or two later he wrapped his gifts to me and sat them under our little one foot tall fiber optic tree and I immediately sulked.

He put so much time and effort into wrapping my gifts and here mine looked like complete crap in comparison. No idea why that bothered me, but it did! I felt like some kind of Christmas failure. He's already dubbed me Miss Grinch - and seeing our wrapping jobs next to each other just made it all worse.

I have one gift of his left to wrap, and I've decided that I'm going to put some effort into wrapping it. We haven't got any ribbon or bows - but I am still going to at least make it look better than the shoddy job I did on the others.

We share so many interests - but holiday cheer is not one of them. I really have tried, but no dice. People decking their houses out with lights is somewhat a new 'thing' here in England, but in the States nearly everyone does it. I kind of expect that sort of thing out of Americans. America is the land of excess, the country of waste. Who cares about how much electricity we waste on all those decorations - looks good don't it?! Here we separate all our trash in order to put things in our recycle bin which is about 3x the size of our trash bin. The inspection for cars is far more in depth here than in America ... but now England is splurging and tossing aside their green way of things in favor of having twinkling lights all over their cottages, bungalows, and flats. It makes me feel bad, in a way. I really don't know how to explain it.

Keith and I haven't really made any friends here. Nearly everyone he works with is well older than we are - and if they aren't then they have at least two kids which immediately puts a bit of a damper on things. We have, however, met up with our Second Life friend Treebee - and she has definitely stepped up to the unknown challenge of taking the place of my best friend.

Okay so she isn't really my BEST friend because how could anyone ever fill the gap of my REAL best friend, Stefanie? They couldn't. Stef and I have known each other since we were 15 (Holy crap 12 years already?!) and we have been through so much together. We're sisters, really. Not the bickering type sisters, but the kind that finishes each others' sentences. Though Tree is well older than I am (her daughter is 15) she has this amazing aura about her. She and I are eerily alike in amazingly so many ways that it almost puts me off. Things that I like (that Stef doesn't) and I think - no one could ever like THAT - Tree likes it! She just puts off this energy that makes you want to just hug her. She's so raw and honest, yet carefree and cautious. Its really hard for me to describe.

Keith and I have invited Tree, her man, and her daughter over for Christmas dinner. Last Christmas Keith was still living in the dorms on the military base, and his suite mate was on leave so it was just us. It was charming, really - but it was quite sterile. Even though I didn't have a great holiday family I still missed the anxiety of getting things together for them.

Its weird, really. I hate cleaning house - but I love cleaning it when I know that Tree and her lot are coming over. I'm not cleaning the house for me, I'm doing it for them. Yes, I know they wouldn't care if my house looked like complete shite - but it feels like I'm reaching some sort of goal when I do it.

I've only just noticed that I'm jumping around a lot in what I'm writing, but I'm just going with whatever comes to mind. Sorry if it seems frantic :(

I haven't started working out yet. Keith wanted to go one day last week, but I had my monthly and really wasn't feeling up to it (who could blame me?!) I'm still not sure if or when I will feel compelled enough to actually get my arse in gear and work out. A big part is that since we've been together I feel so physically dwarfed by his good looks. He's tall and thin with a great personality. He's a people pleaser. He's just a good guy. I'm short and fat with a weird personality that couldn't be bothered with what anyone else thinks .. unless I'm with him. I think my deviant self is really an embarrassment to him or something. I think that somehow, somewhere inside him that he HAS to be embarrassed of how I look. Skinny blond bloke like him should have a skinny bird on his arm. Not some loud mouth mix of Roseanne Barr, Rosie O'Donnel with a heavy helping of Bjork's eccentricity. Not that I don't love every one of those women (who are so outspoken about politics, feminism, and art) but it never feels like it suits him.

Time and time again I've heard lines of if you're happy with yourself then you've got it made. I am happy with myself. I really don't have a problem with my body - but I just feel like I'm not as .. well .. hot as I should be, I guess.

Never has Keith said "You're fat and I find you unattractive." Hell, I've never even caught him oogling a prettier woman which means he's either A) way more slick than I could ever imagine or B) I really put too much stock in how I think I'm looked upon. It isn't as shallow as what I'm wearing because I'm shameless when it comes to clothes. I will wear the tackiest shit because I like it! But its because as the years go by its harder and harder to find clothes. I really don't like wearing what I can only call a 'tent'. I want to wear weird leg warmers and 3 shirts at the same time. Maybe some hot pink holographic tights under a skirt with a pair of worn out yellow Chuck Taylor's. But I can't. I'm too fat.

Then it comes back around. I'm too fat but I know working out won't do a thing for me. Argue all you want, but even in high school when I was what I would NOW call thin (5'4 140lbs) I ran more than a mile every day - yet still I was round. I had a belly pooch. I had dimples on my thighs. When I sat down my stomach still rolled over the top of my jeans! At one point I even did the no carb thing - and I didn't lose a pound. I only got more tired! I've been reading and at this stage in my life I am considered obese. I used to think that it took far more to be obese, but I've hit that mark. Women who weigh more than like 200lbs are considered obese, and that really bothers me. Not the WORD obese, but the health risks that come with it.

There are surgical procedures that can be done, but being on military health care I can't have a one of them. I don't see a Lt. Col. calling me back to surgery to have my gut stapled. It just won't happen. I also don't see how I would get anything like that done here in England where you are 3x as likely to die of easily curable cancers like colon cancer than in the States. And see, I've gone and freaked myself out. BAH!

Working out won't hurt anything. My shins won't let me run anymore due to all the hard running in high school for the tennis and softball teams - but I could ride an exercise bike I'd bet. I'm sure that if I started out with just like ... 15 mins on a bike then walked a mile or so on a treadmill that the results would start to show. I've heard NOTHING but GOOD things about pilates, but I don't think I live anywhere near a gym that offers such a thing.

I'm not sure what to do, but I'll do something. Sometime. Maybe.

I am NOT ready for my close-up

I have an appointment today at a hair salon to get my hair cut, and after that Keith and I have an appointment at a photography studio to get professional pictures taken. Sounds fab, huh? IT ISN'T!

I always get a bout of anxiety and get real 'uppidy' when it comes to things like this. Okay fine, you got me - I get high strung about nearly everything and have a little freak out session often ... but getting my hair cut is always one of those things that just freak me out!

Part of the reason is up until about 3 years ago, I had the same hair dresser since I was 9. She knew my hair. She knew that no matter what haircut I WANTED she always knew what would look better. The problem with getting a new hairdresser is if you walk in and say "I want my hair cut like THIS" that they will cut it like that and if its complete shite you're stuck with it. *MY* hairdresser would never do that to me. To make this all worse we're having pictures taken afterward.

So a stranger is going to be chopping at my hair and probably not caring if the haircut clashes with my fat face. She probably won't know that even though my hair has turned a brownish reddish color with my age - that it still shows EVERY cut you make as if it were still blond. I had the hardest time as a blond. It took *MY* hairdresser a few years to get the hang of cutting my hair just right so that you couldn't see every cut she made. When I was about 13 that "Rachel" haircut (y'know .. from friends?) with the millions of layers was in. I could not sport this haircut because of my blondish reddish naturally highlighted hair because every layer looked as if you had given me different facets of a bowl cut.

Will this hairdresser butcher my hair? Will she actually listen to the things I tell her like:

• I don't have a natural part
• Even though I don't have any cow licks - one side of my hair always seems longer than the other
• If I can't style it with and walk out the door in 10 minutes - I'll hate it
• Bangs/Fringe make my face look fatter and I don't care what you say
• I have a weird mole thing on my head so if you even HINT at it I'll be mortified
• Even if you thin my hair out its still REALLY thick and will take you a half hour to blow dry
• If you have to use a curling iron on my hair to make it look good - you're trying too hard
• I prefer to not use more than two products on my hair on the rare occasion i DO style it
• Take into consideration I get a haircut once a year when it hits that awkward grow out stage
• The messier the better

I know that all seems like a lot, and some if it is contradictory ... but will she even listen?! Will she humor me and just grin and nod and then just do her own thing? Does anyone else ever freak out like this before getting their hair cut? I feel so juvenile!

My other 'freak out' thing right now is pictures. The last time I had professional portraits done was in high school. I didn't mind it so much because hey - its a portrait and I thought I was totally friggin' hot back then. Well I've gained probably 50 pounds (if not MORE) since then, but was lucky enough to marry a very VERY attractive man. Now, I feel inferior in looks (which drives Keith up the WALL and he wishes I'd just stop it!) and I wish I were thin enough to hide behind him for this whole ordeal. Vertically, I can hide behind him - but otherwise FORGET IT! I know that these aren't going to be full nude pictures (or even partially for that matter) but I do know the extra work it takes to photograph such contrasting couples for classic portrait photography. I know that I would feel more comfortable if I could somehow take our pictures myself - but we'd end up with these 'weird' photos that would just play off our contrasting appearance and it would be more minimalist slash modern portraits .. but GAH!

Regardless of my level of freak out (we are at Def con Bravo right now on my Freak Out Meter, people!) I will end up somehow pulling myself together to do all of this stuff. I'll sit in that salon chair and make small talk while a strange lady touches that weird mole on my head. I will then probably have to go into a story saying how my mother AND grandmother both have a mole in that same spot, and probably then say the same for the one near my ear which we all 3 have in common. We'll talk about the weather and about what we got our families for Christmas. I'll then thank her for her work on my what COULD be butchered hair, then I'll pick Keith up from work. After that I'll stand around in a studio drooling over the cameras, asking the photographer what school they went to (if any), and simply wait for the discomfort which comes once they start squinting behind a tripod (because few photographers actually look through the finder anymore with these new digital thingies) while I keep saying "don't blink don't blink don't blink" to myself in my head.

Ugh, am I losing my mind?!

Bah Humbug!

I'm the first to admit that I've never really been one of those 'Christmasy' types. I don't like hearing carrols on the loud speaker in EVERY store I go in. I don't really like wrapping presents, and I really like the fact that we have a 1 foot tall fiber optic tree because I don't like decorating, either!

My parents always hated that I was never excited about Christmas. They hated to buy me gifts because I wouldn't absolutely flip over them when I opened them. Now that I think about it, it was really rare that they actually got me something I wanted. For instance - when I asked for a No Doubt CD I got Maria Carey. All in all, they didn't really know me. I can assume they knew me as well as any other parent knows their teenager, but Christmas presents were always so ... hollow to me.

Keith complained the other day that I am too easy to shop for. Mind you my mother used to be LIVID trying to figure out what to get me.

So on our first married Christmas together we're kinda mixing traditions. My family really doesn't have any other than we normally just cooked a big breakfast Christmas day - whereas Keith's does the big dinner thing. We didn't open any presents early, but even up to the time I was 19 I would get up at like 5am - but it was a strict rule that I couldn't wake my parents before 6am. My mom even fixed up a coffee filter to brew a pot of coffee as soon as she got up to save time. So once mom had her morning cup and fag - we could start dishing out the presents. The stockings were always last. Always.

Dad usually dished out the presents to all of us because there was some mystical order in which the presents had to be opened. Even though we took turns being "Santa" mom would yell "NOT THAT ONE!" so we'd have to push it aside and open whatever it was she slid in front of us until we got the green light for the one she was sooo adamant about us NOT opening. If this is all sounding like a scene from A Christmas Story (Y'know "You'll shoot your eye outtt") then that's really how it went at my house.

Keith's parents sent us advent calendars - which I've never had before. Why? Well like I said - my family really isn't into holidays. Keith has also bought a thing of paper lunch bags and tea light candles that he says he'll line our driveway with .. for some reason. He just shrugged and said "tradition" so I'm not sure he knows what possible meaning could be behind it all.

Keith is also having a much harder time being away from his family than I am, but I think its because of lots of different reasons. For one - my parents aren't really involved in my life. I can honestly say that I don't think they have ever had any interest in what I do - other than just making sure I wasn't getting into trouble as a teenager. Keith's family calls him at least 3-5+ times a week, whereas I feel like I win a lottery if my family even picks up the phone.

It could just be that I feel he takes too much for granted like his parents always backing him up, or knowing that no matter what decision he makes that his family won't denounce his existence ... and maybe that's caused me to be a bit more bah humbug this year? I'm really not sure. I do know that I got him some kick ass presents so this Christmas should be better than last year (I got him a few video games and some other random things.)

I was tagged.

So Hawk's tagged me, and I had no idea WTF I was being tagged for so I had to read. I like reading, fortunately. So here we are at the 'tagging' portion.

(1) Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
(2) People who are tagged need to write a post on their own blog (about their eight things) and post these rules.
(3) At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
(4) Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.



(1) I prefer hot drinks to cold ones. I will pick warm red wine over a cold beer any day of the week. I will drink a cup of tea or coffee before I will even think of cracking open a can of pop. I also tend to use a lot of sugar in my hot drinks (3 sugars and milk, please) which tend to make a lot of people shudder (especially here in England) but hey .. I like it!

(2) I took voice lessons for 9 years and am a 'classically' trained singer. I auditioned for a small part in the off-Broadway production of Phantom of the Opera in 1999. I sang on stage (ever so briefly) with Sara Brightman who was touring with the troupe and training the new Christine. Though it was only one song .. I thought I could have died happy at that moment. Unfortunately I was offered a job I didn't want (set construction) and turned it down. I addition to my voice lessons I was awarded a vocal scholarship to University of Missouri (Mizzou) but the scholarship didn't pay enough so it went to waste. I was awarded a walk on softball scholarship as well as a vocal and bright flight (I scored a 32 on my ACT) scholarships to a small community college. Also? I sing off key and stuff on purpose because I think my 'operatic' singing voice is odd and that anyone who is around to me to actually hear me sing would turn up their nose.

(3) If I my husband didn't demand otherwise - I would dress like Punky Brewster. I mean, even now my clothes are a hodge podge of things I pick up at Charity shops and I tend to heavily layer things. If he didn't have so much say in how I look publicly - I would most likely resemble a bag lady .. only without the stench.

(4) Apple juice makes me poop. A lot. I know its gross, but your average normal person should be able to drink a glass of apple juice without running to the bathroom an hour later! I am not average and can NOT drink much apple juice. Anything more than ohh .. a glass that you'd drink a cocktail out of is TOO much. I used to think it was an allergy, but I can eat apples! I don't know anymore .. I just avoid apple juice for the most part.

(5) I keep tarot cards in a blue Hello Kitty tin inside a purple velvet pouch. I used to search tirelessly for 'antique' tarot cards, but I could never tell how old any one card was :( So I gave up, and just keep the deck I was given when I was 15. Also? I've always wanted a crystal ball and have always wanted to make a living by being a 'fortune teller' or spellcaster. So far, no dice. But there have been a couple times I've thought about charging for tarot readings and stuff. Maybe. One day.

(6)I'm a sleep humper. It was embarrassing when I was younger. I'd be sleeping over at a friends' house, toss, turn, then do a little humpage on whatever. A pillow, leg, pet golden retriever .. whatever was RIGHT NEXT TO ME. I thought it was weird and perverse, but evidently its fairly common for people to do that sort of thing. Its just a different 'soothing' action when you're almost woken up. I've been doing it apparently since I was 2 (according to my mother).

(7)I can pooch out my stomach SO FAR that it looks like I'm like 135 months pregnant. I will also have to admit here that I have done this to cut in line at public bathrooms. Though I kinda feel bad for using my 'stupid human trick' to just cut in line .. I will say that if there were any elderly or if there were actually a pregnant woman in line then I would gladly give them my spot. I also threaten to have "Pregnant Days" when Keith is a butthole to me. He thinks its gross and creepy so I use it to my advantage. Piss me off? Oooh no! We're in public and suddenly I'm 9 months pregnant with a 15 pound kid!

(8)I have victory dances for almost every kind of 'victory' imaginable. Such as:
Right Answer
They said Yes
I just shot someone (video game)
I got a headshot (video game)
OMFG I am so excited
Haha I'm doing this dance to embarass you
I can't believe you just admitted I was right
Haha I told you I was right
I just got a treat (candy/chocolate)
I just got a present (birthday)
I just got a present (holiday)
I just got a suprise (all occasions)
I love this show (TV/Series)
I love this song

The list goes on and on :/

so now I must tag folks. Eight of them ...

Jen
Saraa
Keith
WillowZ
Chris
Dave
Valerie
Stef

My Webcomic

So I started my webcomic yesterday. I've decided that it'll be a daily thing of whatever random funny stuff that comes to mind :D

http://ManicStatic.wordpress.com

I opted for a wordpress blog thing because I couldn't see paying for a domain if I'm unsuccessful. And by successful I mean people actually like the stuff I draw and buy shirts and whatever from my cafe press store. (there's a banner on the site!)

New Projects Brewing

For years I've been a huge fan of different webcomics. I read them faithfully the way some people read PerezHilton.com ... anyway!

I've decided to start a comic of my own! I haven't gotten a site yet. The reason I haven't is because it DOES cost money so I would have to discuss such a thing with Keith first. I don't really want to go the 'free website' route because .. well I just don't want to. Having your own website gives you MUCH more freedom.

I'm also going to get a normal job next week - or at least start looking for one. My last wedding to film is set for next Wednesday so everything is all in order. I'm already looking into things to spend my money on once I start getting paychecks. My check will mostly just be 'play' money since we live quite comfortably off Keith's pay.

I've debated letting Keith take over this laptop and getting myself a macbook. One - I don't plan to continue gaming. PCs and Windows machines are FAR superior for gaming .. but I think my gaming days are almost gone. There are other things I'd like to focus on - like my art and writing. The past few years I've really let a lot of that go, but I'm going to find it again.

I can get a macbook off ebay for around ... 800USD -- or I can get one at the BX for a few hundred more and be guaranteed that everything is new. I'm almost positive that Keith isn't going to go for this, though.

My idea to start a webcomic really has me all "Eek". For one I do have a very off-the-wall sense of humor. With anything in life you always HOPE to succeed, I guess I'm just a little freaked out to be really planning on stopping everything I've been doing for the past almost three years.
There are lots of other things I wish I could openly type out - but I can't. Keith thinks its tacky for me to write out EVERYTHING so that any Tom Dick or Harry can read it. Sooo yeah.

I drew up a comic just a bit ago, scanned it, then painted around on it a bit. I think I'll just draw up a bunch of them and horde them for when I get a site, that way I'm ahead of the race a little bit and can update it daily or something. Maybe I'll even offer t shirts/mugs etc who knows.

Really I think its just time I have fun with the internet and stop seeing it as my job because well .. it won't be much longer. I've exhausted myself researching things, contacting people .. all that .. but I've never had a chance to really do what I want to do.

I will say that a lot of the comics I draw are NOT SAFE FOR WORK. So when I DO get a site please do yourself a favor and only view it at home - unless you work in a very liberal work place. Then of course view the site by all means!

Right now I'm really not sure what else to say. I'm excited about Christmas already - and I am just waiting for Keith's presents to come in. I think he's gonna be surprised and that he'll REALLY like his gifts!

Turkey Day!

We ate re-heated food from the squadron thing. That was enough of a Thanksgiving for me. After that Keith and I pretty much just started playing video games.

My Minstrel in LotR:O is now level 17 (Landroval server -- name Madge) and I spent a big part of the day seeing just how far I could run before I got killed. I actually got a popup message that more or less said "DANGER! This zone is very dangerous and things will attack you from far away!!" I did eventually die.

I'm debating heating up some of .. whatever's left and making a sandwich out of it. Keith is on the phone right now with his family. I called my family earlier and got hung up on 3 times before my mom answered the 4th time.

I won BOTH the things I was bidding on so I was really happy about that. Sooo hopefully Keith thinks the stuff I got him is awesome.

Keith is also making me pissy because I set up a filming appointment - and I had to throw a fit for him to actually do it. I'm really close to throwing in the towel on the video thing. I'd rather work in a fucking fast food joint - bring home my paycheck and not hear a damn word out of him instead of me going out of my way to communicate with these people and get things scheduled just for him to be a complete ASS about it.

Whatever.


I'm making a sandwich.

Dinnah

I don't have a lot of time to post because I have a lot to do and I'm hardly dressed.

Keith and I will be doing a feast thing with his entire squadron this afternoon. I even baked a carrot cake for the thing! I'm not a very good cook - unless its desserts. I can make the HELL out of some desserts!

I still have to ice the cake, dry my hair, and maybe slap on some makeup. I haven't decided on the makeup bit - but we'll see!

Suddenly I found myself distracted by the clouds moving outside.

I've decided to buy all Keith's Christmas presents on eBay since its cheap and easy. Its much more simple than me taking him to work and hitting the BX in hopes that they have what I'm looking for. Instead I can just log on and place a bid on the SAME THING that I know is there -- but for half the price and I don't have to worry about hiding it because it comes IN A BOX that I can just open and wrap while he's at work. Huzzah!

I'm sure we'll take pictures today. We haven't really taken the camera with us much of anywhere lately ... definately will have to stop that!

A Wicked Weekend

Keith and I had a completely AWESOME Saturday. I don't regret my decision to only do wedding videos during the week. If I were still doing them on a whim there's no way we would have had such a lovely weekend!

We started our Saturday by waking up (of course!) and made the hour drive to Redbridge (suburb of London) to catch the Central tube to St. Paul's.

St. Paul's Cathedral

We walked the few blocks from there across the Millennium Bridge

Millennium Bridge

Once across the bridge we were directly in front of the Tate Gallery of Modern Art.

Tate Gallery of Modern Art

This is where we met with Harold Frickner who had invited Keith and I to give the lecture at Solent University in Southampton. We both really think highly of Harold - and I particularly enjoy our intellectually charged conversations. It isn't often that you can discuss art (in its many mediums), society, and Second Life all to a receptive person and still get great feedback without it feeling like propoganda!

We all met on the 6th floor in the Members Only cafe where they have the biggest croissants I've ever seen in my life! The three of us sat and had croissants and cappuccino while just taking in the view before we walked the few blocks to Borough Market which we're told is probably the most trendy market in London. We weren't there for trend so much as to just enjoy the market.

Market Days are unfamiliar to us. There's really no such thing in America. Markets are purely medieval which would explain why since there was no Medieval period in the United States. And markets are something that Keith and I really enjoy. The closest thing we have in the US would be what most here call a 'jumble sale'.

After we had taken a trip through the Borough Market we hopped in Harold's car as he gave us a driving tour of London. We even drove past the Ten Bells - and we must MUST round up Tree and her man to take a Ripper tour one day soon! Its one of the many things which are mandatory on a trip to London.


Harold drove us to the theater where we had tickets to see Wicked - and let me tell you ... its been far too many years since I've seen a play/musical/opera! I almost cried when the curtain came up. A bit of it was sadness of "That could have been me" - the other part was just sheer glee. I'll have to explain the "Coulda Been Me" syndrome another time.

Apollo Victoria Theater

During intermission I didn't even want to get up. I sat there hoping that if enough people stayed in their seats that the director would decide to start the next act early ... but of course this was all just a fantasy played out in my head.

The play was spectacular and I would recommend it to anyone with children who are old enough to understand it (8 and up). It really gave a good positive message that I think young girls SHOULD hear on a daily basis but probably don't. Let's not mention the fact that it was also really funny!

We then had dinner at the MOST posh Pizza Hut I have EVER seen. This place served WINE!!!! On top of that .. they served like .... gormet desserts! I was over the moon at how swank the place was! I absolutely LOVED it! It was something that felt familiar but was all together different. It just goes to show you how different cultures are. In America -- you'd NEVER find a pizza joint like that.

At any rate - I told Keith that we mustttt see more plays and musicals because back "home" I would have to drive 5 hours (estimated) just to see a musical ... and here its so much more convenient. Oh and London's transportation system is so so so good. They really make it easy to get about - which makes me feel less intimidated. We had a LOVELY weekend and I hope to have another soon!

Classical Emo = Win

Okay so I hated my parents just as much as the goth kids and punk kids and was looking for a way to just step out of my daily life and declare that I ... I don't know. I hated high school. Anyway!

So I'm a YouTube lurker. I love to check out random videos. Lots don't know - but I am a classically trained singer. Yuh! I can't sing along to radio stuff - but give me some sheet music to Carmen or Les Miserables and I'll rock the house. ANYWAY!!

I've never been a fan of 'commercial radio' even though I do enjoy British radio more than I liked the radio stations in the US in the towns I lived in. Part of it is because I spent all my life in the South which means my choices were Classic Rock (think of hearing nothing but Lynyrd Skynyrd all day), Country (think of hearing Hank Williams, Jr all day) or Soft Rock (Creed and Celine Dion) ... so yeah I hatedddd the radio.

These days YouTube has become my alternative radio. There are sooo many talented people (not just singers but accompanists too!) who do 'covers' of songs that I never liked until I heard the COVER version by some unnamed talent on YouTube.

The following video is an example of that. Some random guy who has a talent for playing by ear (the most piano playing I ever did was pounding out harmony parts to whatever I was singing) and doing covers of songs that I HATED.

So I found a video of his .. and he's playing Helena by My Chemical Romance on piano. Of all instruments I think I'm a sucker for the piano the most. Why? Well there are lots of reasons. For one - maybe its my artsy poetic side .. but the strings and the mechanism is hidden which makes it mysterious. Its like its hiding its guts, I guess. Even though you KNOW what happens inside that lid -- you can only pay attention to the pianist's physical interpretation of what they're playing which makes the instrument sooo appealing to me!

Anyway - here's the video.

Wrestling and its Writers

I blame the fact that I am an 80s kid when it comes to my dorkiness. I fully admit to being a huge dork, and the extent of my dweebtastic self stretches far and wide.

As a kid in the 80s I loved loved LOVED watching wrestling on TV. It was a bonding type of thing between my somewhat psychotic Marine uncle and I. Violence was our link - sad but funny.

I never believed anyone when they said wrestling was scripted. I found it hard to believe that Hulk Hogan's sheer might didn't take down Andre the Giant and that they both knew who was going to win that match before they ever left the dressing room.

Sadly, I've come to terms with this dastardly truth just a few days ago. My uncle Julian isn't around for me to say "Wow dude you were right .." so I'll just consider this blogpost and the following video as a nod to those 'evil' things he said to me long ago. And here I told him he was just trying to steal the twinkle from my childhood. Turns out, he was right.

Our Lecture at Solent University

Somehow we didn't kill each other in the car on the way to Solent University in Southampton, and made the three hour drive. The traffic made me antsy because folks on motorcycles here will weave through traffic at high speeds and it just makes me nervous!

The Jurys Inn that we stayed at was great! Even though I'll admit to having too much to drink, I'm always more outspoken due to letting the wine speak for me - everything was sooo much better than expected. Harold Frickner and I had a long chat about Second Life and its potential uses and how machinima on the platform can be so much more than avatars dancing.

At one point I thought I had an ear infection, but it turns out I have a wisdom tooth coming in which made my inner ear and jaw sore :( Anyway!

About 20 people came to our lecture - and though that seems like a small number there were only about 150 who registered for the event and there were 4 other lectures going on at the same time. I even pushed it so far as to do most of my end of the lecture in PowerPoint, which I hadn't messed with in forever.

It was painfully obvious that we aren't used to public speaking, but I think that our video content end of the lecture is what really captured peoples' attentions. We had a lot of interesting questions, and I was quite surprised to hear that some schools are already incorporating Second Life into their curriculum! I think my mention of SL being open source so that the school can host its own 'private' version of SL really piqued their interest.

Keith and I are hoping to continue giving 'lectures' to show the impact of machinima and how not only virtual worlds, but the open artistic freedom of platforms like Second Life can put a whole new spin on not just education - but the art of film making itself.

There are pictures somewhere - but we've misplaced the flash drive so I can't transfer the pictures onto my PC as of yet.

Earlier today I sat here at the PC and just said "WOW". Three years ago when Keith and I teamed up for our first machinima video, I never would have thought it would have taken us down the path we've been on. No we aren't making a sick amount of cash - but for the past two years we have been able to apply the money we DO make from our videos to things that have made our videos better.

Not only did I never expect for the two of us to be taken seriously, but I never expected anyone else to hold any kind of interest in what we do beyond just laughing at the funny videos we make. It really has been a very awesome experience that has taken me by complete suprise.

No, we haven't been offered any contracts - but we are able to still do what we love without having to worry about anyone dictating it. Machinima has become so mainstream that no one really bats an eye when we try to explain what we do as a hobby. I remember trying to explain everything to my family once upon a time, and I'm still not sure they get it - but at least someone does.

I gave my mom links to videos we've done, and though I really get the impression that she wasn't impressed - I think she at least now understands what it is.

At any rate - I was pleased with our lecture regardless of our lack of experience - and I hope that all virtual worlds (not just Second Life) have finally gotten cast in a light which goes beyond just scantily clad women and cheating spouses.

2007 Machinima Festival - Europe

Okay then! Most everyone knows that Keith and I attended the Machinima Festival (the first EVER in Europe) which was held in Leicester (pronounced Lester). It was technically a three day event of which we attended one day. A two hour drive (each way) may not sound like a lot - but by the end of Saturday I was worn out. We did have a VERYYY busy day though!

We arrived early - and we were both kinda bummed when the girl didn't find our name on the list. I told Keith not to worry about it .. but he later ran back downstairs and had them look again. Lo and behold we were on the list. Anyway we got our goody bags and sat down in one of the many rooms in order to hear some presentations.

The first we heard was Paul Marino. For those that don't know who Paul Marino is ... he's like the grandfather of machinima. Other people may have brought machinima into the mainstream (which I'll get to later) but he more or less started it all.

"So what are they like?" Keith and I spent a lot of time talking to different people at the Festival throughout the day. Paul seems to be a very reserved guy with a strong 'matter of fact' sense about things. Even though he was being ushered everywhere and people were wanting interviews and such - he still found time to talk to everyone who wanted to talk to him - which I find highly admirable. Paul is definately a guy I'd like to sit and talk to more - the type you want to pick their brains, really.

Keith with Paul Marino

I didn't do a whole lot of interacting with the folks attending the festival - I'm shy like that. Keith was walking up to people left and right "So what video have you done? I've seen that!" And I just sat back and took pictures.

The funniest thing about the entire festival is that even though we felt like we knew a lot of those people through their work alone - we couldn't pick them out. ASIDE from one incident which I'll document later ;)

We were talking to Paul for a bit when I snapped the picture. He heckled me about not submitting a film for the festival. I thought that since the director of the festival had asked if she could show our films that it would be in bad taste to submit one ... I was wrong and it'll never happen again! So Paul gave me a razzing before another guy walked up and he and Paul started talking, shaking hands - anyway it was obvious they knew each other. Paul asked us "I'm sure the both of you are .. but I'll ask anyway. Are you familiar with FRAPS?" Duh yes! Its practically all we use. Then Paul said "Well this is the guy that made it."

Keith laughed a bit and shook his hand "Well you have about $30.00 of mine!" He was kinda coy and shy and just laughed "I thought it was cheaper than that these days." We all talked briefly and of course I took a picture.

Keith and FRAPS Guy (I forgot his name SORRY!)

I sat in on the "Distributing and promoting your machinima" panel while Keith jotted off to attend the "legal" panel. He got a lot of questions in (to hear him tell it) whereas I simply listened on most of the event I was at.

Keith even hung out with a group that was filming the festival - Lit Fuse

who had a film or two shown during a couple presentations. One of the teammembers even contacted Keith in SL so I think he's made a new friend out of it.

As far as the SL end of things went at the Festival .. it seemed everyone was familiar with it - but no one really knew how to utilize it. De Montfort University even has a sim there (as well as La Interactiva head Ricard having a Machinima Sim) but the guy behind the computer really didn't know how far Second Life reached. We sat in the room a couple of minutes before taking the keyboard away from the guy and cutting loose. moo Money and Geius Dassin were in the sim and watching the festival on the feed so Keith said - "Hey watch this! I'm gonna run down to the main room .. get in front of the camera - and wave!" He did - and it was funny. Not only that it was nice to show the other guys "Hey look we DO have friends!" Anyway - moo and Geius took a screenshot/snapshot:



At any rate - that's all I'll post for now. The other post would dominate all this as its more of my documentation and not a mash-up of info from both Keith and I. Just a first person narrative on what went down :)

HUGE POSTS COMING

In the next day or two (or three) expect quite a few huge posts which outline the 2007 Machinima Festival :)

That's all for now!

Running Behind

I really meant to do a 'How My Birthday Went' post .. but I am just swamped.

Keith and I had dinner at my favourite pub, I had a couple pints and a glass of wine. We finished watching Austrailia v England rugby match (England won!) before we head to the Commissary. He wouldn't let me get out of the car .. so I waited. He came back out with a cake he had ordered earlier in the week along with some cake spray paint, sugary decor that you just lay on the icing (it was Barbie stuff) and some sprinkles.

He then complained of how hard it is to buy things since we are always together. Yah I know, remember? Your birthday was in July and I had to make up a dentist appointment just so I could get the car for a day! Anyway ... we didn't really "do" anything for my birthday other than hang out at the pub for a few hours which is fine by me because as I said its my FAVOURITE pub!

This weekend is the UK Machinima Festival. We got an e-mail a couple days ago which is like a programme more or less - but it doesn't say "your video is being shown on THIS day at THIS time". That's what I had really wanted to know. The even is ALL weekend and I really don't want to have to try to find some form of lodging just so we can be there BOTH days. Its just frustrating is all.

I've been working on our lecture material .. which I still have to get everything put onto the laptop and all that in order to be ready for the lecture at Solent University on the 26th. When I say busy I mean BUSY! I don't really mind it though, I mean, its better than having nothing to do at all.

The downside is that lately I've been slacking on normal things. The house isn't as clean as it should be .. I spend so much time in e-mails that I forget to lay something out for dinner .. things like that. I know Keith doesn't mind eating pizza every night .. but it doesn't keep me from feeling guilty about it some days.

I've got a big rant coming up too. I won't make it a Mean Girls post because its just business related and even though it does have to do with Second Life I'm not sure that it belongs on MGG2SL. We'll see though. I mean, I could always double-post.

Lots and lots of Halo 3 multiplayer lately. I really sucked at first because I haven't picked up an XBox controller for the better part of 5 years .. but I've gotten better. And as sad as this sounds ... I really find enjoyment in busting up a few 12 year old boys' cussing coversations with "Haha you just got your face PWND by a chick, bitches!!!!!" I know. I'm immature.

Pleasure DURING business?

Keith stopped off and picked up some pop last night - so I was happy!! For some reason I'm far more productive with pop than I am with coffee. Coffee is more of a relaxing type drink for me - whereas pop says to me "Get your butt in gear!"

I responded to some business e-mails while sipping on some Mountain Dew and it really felt like I got everything done much more quickly than what I normally do with just coffee. Its probably all in my head but that doesn't really matter when it comes to being fast, accurate, and articulate!

My Undead Priest is up to level 24 now. I abandoned my raiding 70 Warlock on a RP server in favor of playing on a PvP server (Crushridge) with a few SL friends. I forgot how lame it was to play such low level characters - but I really don't mind it all that much. Anyone over on Crushridge who wants to group with a 24 priest (Horde) give me a holler! The name's Morcheeba.

I've been doing weekly Mean Girls posts, but haven't yet come up with a post for this week. I'm starting to feel kinda stingy that I keep posting every week and soon everyone's going to be like "WTF is this the Orchid and Meat of the Week blog?!" I think this is all in MY head but yanno.

My birthday is Saturday - and either Keith hasn't planned ANYTHING or he's better with suprises than I thought. We'll see!

Next weekend is the UK Machinima Festival and of course I'm looking forward to that! It'll be great to see/hear everyone's reaction live in PERSON while they are watching our videos. Its always easy to type "lol" but seriously - how many times do people actually -mean- it when they type it?

Guess that's all for right now. I have some shrimp out to cook for dinner and I'm thinking about cleaning the house. It isn't dirty ... but a vaccum wouldn't hurt it :P

YouTube - Entertainment of CHAMPIONS!

I'll do a real blog post later --

But I came across this vid and watched it like 10 times in a row and absolutely DIED laughing every time. I don't speak or read Korean - but you don't have to in order to find the entertainment value in this video.

I soooo wanna kareoke right now.

TOO MUCH TO DO!

Yes yes capslock is cruise control for awesome - but really we do have too much to do.

Keith has another case study to do for his human relations course ... we have the UK Machinima Festival as well as the lecture in Southampton to prepare for. We're also going to hit the game expo in London this month. I think its pretty safe to say that we aren't gonna film any weddings in October .. maybe a very small FEW but we honestly don't have the time this month.

We're designing some NSS t-shirts to wear when we go to the Machinima Festival as well as the London Expo. Yes, we're gamer nerds so what? Keith and I have even talked about taking up a few card games (I outright refused to play Pokeman).

So far pretty much every weekend in October is filled with something. I'll just list all the days that we will NOT be filming.

Weekend of Oct 6 ---- My RL Birthday
Weekend of Oct 13 --- UK Machinima Festival
Weekend of Oct 20 --- London Gaming/Anime Expo
Oct 25-28 ---- Lecture @ Southampton Solent University Conference Centre

The simplest things are often the funniest

Before I elaborate on the title ... Just making note that there are 2 weddings to edit this weekend. I was supposed to film a wedding last night - but when I tried (REPEATEDLY) to log into SL it just hung on the "initializing world" screen and wouldn't go any further. Has anyone else had this problem? Of course I tried to send a bug report - but the crash logger thing freezes too so that's a big no-go.

I refunded the girl her money and apologized. Definately wasn't fun for me to get up at 1am and try for an hour straight to log into SL. After that first hour I just gave up and went back to my warm bed and snuggle up with that one cute guy I know. Ohhhh what's his name ..Keith! Yeah that's it.

And I found a video today that absolutely cracked me up. In my younger years I used to play games that scared the living daylights out of me. The ones where random stuff pop out .. Resident Evil, Resident Evil 2, Evil Dead, and recently (though i haven't played it) F.E.A.R Anyway here is a YouTube video of a guy playing Resident Evil 2 .. and recording the audio WHILE he plays it. Its subtitled for those that don't know Japanese (I only know a few cuss words myself LOL)

New Video Yayyyy!

I just did a video to show how far dance animations have come in SL :)

No real point to the video itself other than my avatar dancing - from old dances to the newest release from Sine Wave.

Anyway - I just wanted to try out some new editing techniques mostly. I'm still working on my on-beat edits which I got quite a few of them in! I'm proud.

Some days it seems all I do is bitch

I do read what I write - and I'm fully aware that it seems that all I do is bitch about my life. The fact is: my life is pretty good - and the ONLY things I have to complain about are small things. Yes I realize that I just ADMITTED that they are 'small' but when they occur over and over again - they become bigger annoying things. Anyway - bitching about my amount of bitching isn't any sort of incentive to make me NOT bitch on my blog. Its my blog, after all isn't it?

Last night I went through a lot of trouble to make shrimp alfredo, garlic cheese biscuits (like the ones from Red Lobster) served with a nice Australian shiraz (that's wine). I had to yell at Keith 4 times to get him to come sit down in the kitchen at the table ... by then the shrimp alfredo was already barely above warm .. at any rate I gave Keith more food than me thinking that if I didn't that he'd tear through it and would get up and go back to filming straight away.

What was I hoping for? Hours later after sleeping I can't say for sure. I can say that I was hoping for maybe a little romance. Lately it feels like I go out of my way to do cute and romantic things just to get an "Awww thanks!" then he skips away like I have cooties on the playground. My friend (of like 13 years) Stef says "Oh that just happens over time. Its called being married. Once you're married for so long ya don't really care about those things, and the other person isn't so much the center of your universe anymore ... its getting comfortable." Well I hate it! I don't want to be comfortable!

I'm glad that winter is coming on here in England - all these skinny pretty girls will be hiding themselves in coats and I won't feel so bloaty :D Hahah bitches! That was mean :( But its true!

YouTube Celebrities are crap

So I'm really getting over saturated with the lack of fun that I used to find on YouTube. Seems these days its either people uploading content that isn't theirs - or its middle aged balding men complaining about how other people are more popular than they are on the YouTube. SHUT UP! One guy claims to have a full time job for a Fortune 500 company .. yet all he does is bitch and moan about how he wants to do videos for a living. With WHAT talent?! Keep your day job dude.

At any rate - Keith and I have been talking for a year or so now about starting a vlog to accompany our site and blog. Its mostly a 'meet the directors' type of thing and not so much a "Look what we can do" type of thing. There was a point in time that we both kinda hid behind our avatars. Sure we were never afraid to BE ourselves - but there was a time we were worried about SHOWING ourselves. And by us I mean me. I'll just cut to the chase by saying that I feel unattractive and felt that the general public would put more emphasis on my outward apperance rather than my talents and whatever ... but at this point I don't care.

Maybe watching all those middle aged balding men whining and crying about their wishes has brought a new sense of 'me' around. They don't seem to care that they should spend their spare time with their kids instead of making videos -- and the general public on YouTube doesn't seem to make a single comment to that degree so why so I even worry about anyone thinking I'm fat?! PFFT. Bring it, bitches. Seriously.

On a fat note - I do plan to start working out this winter once Keith and I are able to actually put a schedule together. I realize that his work schedule changes at the drop of a hat - but he'll just have to fork out a few extra bucks a week on gas in order to let me get out more. The past couple weeks I have been going out on Saturday or Sunday for a couple hours while he works on videos .. but that's really lame. I should be able to go wherever I want whenever I want to do it. I honestly don't think that a couple bucks in gas money is a lot to spend considering the benefits from it.

He and I got into a little bit of an argument a few weeks back about how regardless of how bad of a tourist I am ... I want to NOT be in the house all the time. He gets to go to work and come home - whereas for me work IS home so its like I'm always at work. He saw my point, but said something to the effect of a waste of gas blah blah blah ... at any rate he's just going to have to stop keeping such a leash on me as far as who's allowed to spend money and who isn't. I always feel like I'm not allowed to buy anything or spend money - but he can do whatever he wants cuz its 'his' money.

Its almost 6:30pm and I'm heating up some water to wash dishes. Once he comes home this weekend ... he'll be working on that video probably non stop again. Oh joy oh rapture! I have a wedding scheduled for Sunday so he'll have to at least take a break for a couple hours while I film and edit that .... and we are in desperate need of groceries. We needed groceries LAST week but I couldn't tear him away from filming and editing in order to get that done. Maybe I'll just do it myself this weekend. We'll see!

Titles are for weenies

While traipsing around YouTube I found an easter egg!

30 MINUTES OF 80s CARTOON INTROS!




So awesome.

I am sooo not 'with' it

So this nerd test thing has been circling the blogs lately .. and I only sat down to do the thing today. And .. I'm not a bit suprised by the outcome. I know, I know - its a test based on MY answers so I shouldn't be surprised ...

Sometimes I wish I was cooler

I did a Mean Girls post last week and mentioned a New Kids on the Block shirt that was (to my knowledge) non-existant. Well once again the shopping fanatics have proven me wrong and when I logged in yesterday there was a gift waiting for me.

JellyBean gave me a NKOTB shirt at a place called illuminare (I think I spelled it wrong but the link is a SLURL anyway). Chelle Moore was on a mad hunt for one - THANKS YOU!!! I could SLdie happy now. Seems, though, that my mention of such a dorky thing that I enjoy to which I can only laugh. Honestly I had no idea that anyone shares any of my 'eccentric' likes of anything. I have been proven wrong.

Keith and I were at the pub last week when Step by Step came on the TV and I started singing along .. much to his embarassment .... but the waitress laughed and when I went to the bar for a cappuccino she admitted to singing it too only not as boisterously as I was.

This of course calls for a Song of the Day by none other than New Kids on the Block. Oh and I was really sad that JORDAN was the guy in the middle :( Joey McIntire was *mine* once upon a time when my girlfriends and I each chose a NKOTB guy to be 'ours'.

Flickr is too thorough!

Alright so for those interested I uploaded a few more pics to Flickr. I had fun with that whole 'map' thing for a while but now it wants you to zoom in more to drop the pics ... ugh I can't remember streets we took the pics on - is just the town not good enough for you, flickr?!

Anyway - so I put up our London pics (some of them) and a few others from Norwich that I forgot to post last time. Keith is STILL editing that footage and its a gorgeous day out. Kinda didn't want to be in the house today since we were inside yesterday but what can ya do?

Nothing else to really update with other than a song of the day ...
Can't Stop Moving by Sonny Jim --- this song makes me feel all happy inside.

Inebriated Hilarity

So I picked up a couple bottles of wine. Keith said he wasn't a wine fan - but I grabbed some white zinfandel and said "Weeee!" He likes it, he likes it!

Alright so the Andre (pink champagne) was cheap and we picked up a couple bottles of that, too. We're bargain shoppers what can I say?!

He's editing the video that we filmed earlier - and I'm sitting here reading blogs and drinking wine - which was relaxing about an hour ago ... but now I'm pretty much drunk. So now I take random breaks to entertain myself ... luckily the laptop has a built in camera.



Even though the quality isn't so great - the pictures themselves crack me up ... except for one and its kinda scary - but still funny in some weird way.



Oh and Keith is drinking wine too! I wanted wine glasses so he bought me some a couple weeks ago. Wine isn't quite the same without a wine glass. Maybe I was just prissy at the moment. I think now that Keith likes wine enough that we'll actually put our wine glasses to use! Wine is soooo good with seafood (of any kind!)

Anyway I took a bunch of random pics with the webcam on my laptop -- and I thought I'd post em. Why the hell not?!

Nail Polish feels like happy

Most know that it doesn't take a whole lot to make me happy. Ice cream makes me skip, and wild colored nail polish makes me sing.

I took Keith to his class the other night and decided that I needed some loud purple nail polish. My nails is the only 'girly' thing I do. I will spend money on a manicure before I buy myself new underwear or shoes. Its just my 'thing'. Anyway - I haven't owned any good, bright, or colorful nail polish since I moved to be with Keith. I keep forgetting that HE'S the one in the military - not me - so I don't have to conform to their rules. I don't have to keep my hair a certail length .. I don't have to dye my hair 'natural colors' only .. and I certainly can wear any color of nail polish I want! So I did!

I had forgotten how hard it was to paint my left hand (I'm right handed) and needless to say I made a bit of a mess on my fingers - but its the overall effect I was going for. Looking at my hands makes me go "WEEE!" so mission accomplished.

While I was out I also picked myself up some perfume. Seems every time Keith and I go to the BX I have to make a detour at the perfume rack and smell all kinds of perfumes. Most of them I don't like .. but I did find some that gave me a happy feeling inside when I smelled it. Keith said it smelled like cotton candy - which is probably why I like it so much ... but I bought a bottle. I later found out that it was 'made by' Britney Spears (its called Fantasy) but y'know if she ran around smelling like cotton candy maybe she'd be a happier person!

Today Keith decided to put a video idea into motion and started filming .. I was kinda BOOOOO about it because it was a REALLY pretty day .. and its going to start getting nippy here soon.

So Oct 13 or 14 he and I are going to the UK Machinima Festival since they are showing one of our videos .. and on Oct 26th we'll be giving a lecture in Southampton so we have a lot going on next month!

Proof that we do stuff

I was gonna do a song of the day - but I'll save it for a later post :)

Quite a lot to talk about

As the title says I've got quite a lot to talk about. One subject mostly, but still quite a lot nonetheless.

Keith was scheduled to give a short e-lecture on October 26 but plans have changed. Now we are going to Southampton to give a lecture in person at University of Kent on the subject of film and machinima. We're both really excited as we see this as a wonderful opportunity to show who diverse Second Life is for filming.

Movies are expensive - everyone knows that. The staff it takes to run a film set is almost staggering and each of those people have to be paid. Filming in virtual platforms can narrow the staff down to just ONE person - on top of the set(s) being able to change according to your mood. You haven't got to worry about actors breaking character or anything of that sort - not to mention you can collaborate with people from all over the world to share your vision!

I'm fully aware that I'm not the film/editing Guru that Keith is - but I bring just as much to the table as he does and pick up in areas that he's weak. He may have named his 'company' back in Highschool but the company didn't come to light until 2005 when he and I started the ball rolling. Natural Selection Studios is anything BUT a solo effort. Never has it been just one or the other.

On October 26 (we'll be leaving on the 25th and coming back the 27th) we'll give our hour long lecture as well as taking questions to a crowd of film students as well as metaversal enthusiasts. I'm really curious to see the diversity of interests, but I'm most happy about our efforts being taken seriously.

For a long while now many companies have been open enough to see Second Life for what it is - though many have fallen by the wayside. American Apparel pulled out because sales were bombing ... but what can you expect? You aren't going to make a fraction of the cost off a shirt in SL when you could sell the same one IRL and make double the profit. I somehow feel that some companies were misinformed.

Do I feel I'm tooting my own horn? Not really. NSS has never really catered to RL companies. We've never pitched an idea to a 'real' company - and have never attempted to bring a company or organization into SL. We do what we do because we love it - not because of anything else. Yes I use videos as a means of extra income - but we ALWAYS use the money we make from videos to better our equipment in order to make BETTER videos. We're in the process of saving up to buy me a new computer so that I don't have to use Keith's.

I get a lot of people asking me to teach them how to film/edit - and I always turn them down. On the shallow end there is the common sense of: If I told everyone how to do what I do the way I do it - I'd never profit. But on the deeper end is the fact that if you go back and watch some of our earlier flicks you will see that visually - they are terrible. Both Keith and I have greatly improved over the past two and a half years and I feel that sort of experience should be had by anyone trying out anything new. You have to be bad before you can become good. That's just how it is! I can't teach anyone how to learn - does that make sense? Experimentation is key in anything you're trying to learn .. and that kind of thing can't be taught.

I do plan to film our lecture in October - but I'm not sure if we'll "air" it or if we'll just keep it as a momento for ourselves. I don't see any reason in over-saturating the machinima public and be all "Look at US! We have some credibility!" like SOME people do. At any rate - you won't see any advertising diarrhea from me. I'm sure I'll do a blog post at/after the lecture to highlight a few moments - but that's not the same as force-feeding anyone.

On a different note: I need to get more pics uploaded to Flickr. Keith uploaded a lot to his today - but I still haven't updated mine. I know, I suck.

SONG OF THE DAY

I TOTALLY love this song. And after being kinda "blah" for a few days - this song really gets me dancing around the house like a complete idiot ... but at least Keith thinks its cute!

I Need to Feel Loved by Reflekt

Come and touch me baby
I need to feel loved
Come hold me babe
I need to feel loved
I need to feel loved

Come and catch a fire
Don't let me fade away
Come and catch a fire babe
Don't let me fade away

Come and catch a feeling, it's electrifying me
With eyes wide open, I'm dreaming
Breathe for me baby, awake before I'm down
Come and free me baby, awake before I'm down

Come and touch me baby
I need to be loved
Come and hold me babe
I need to feel loved
I'm in love
I'm in love
I'm in love
I'm in love, love love
I'm in love
in love in love
I'm in love
I'm in love

Come and touch me baby
I need to be loved
come and hold me baby
I need to feel loved
Need to feel loved
I need to feel loved
I need to feel loved

I'm in love
in love
in love
I'm in love
in love
I'm in love
in love
in love
I'm in love

Ok MAYBE a pinhole of light

Alright so the other day I was seriously pissy - and though I said I wasn't gonna really go into detail I will just say: My family drives me up the ever-lovin wall.

I've been trying to call them for the better part of 3 weeks and they never take my calls. Its hard enough being 7 hours ahead of them and trying to 'schedule' phone calls - its worse when I get it all orchestrated and they don't even pick up. Just a big downer, I guess.

Couple weddings coming up this month - and spent a few hours today revising Keith's case study for class. He started off well enough but it just went downhill kinda quick. No matter - its all fixed and turned in now.

So I got some bread on the discount shelf from the bakery .. warmed it up .. slapped some hummus, cream cheese, and butter in a plate and sat and ate while insence was burning right when keith got home. It was a nice relaxing snack type of thing while we discussed our days together.

Not entirely sure what to update with. Our Noob Be Gone: Camera Tutorials was dubbed in Italian so that's pretty cool. Bwah I'm hungry after talking about our bedroom picnic!

I had an awesome rant posted ....

I had a good long awesome rant posted about how I'm soooo mad but I deleted it. I thought typing it all out and reading it would make it seem insignificant but that didn't work. So instead of leaving it up so that backspace backspace no one has to read that shit if they don't want to.

I am about to lay down. I'm not even going to waste time explaining anything ... or bringing anything to light. Doesn't matter anyway.

I do have to ask though ... do you ever feel like screaming at the top of your lungs and just start throwing random breakable shit? Maybe even throw something through a wall? Gah I don't know just do something loud and destructive? Oh oh wait now is the PERFECT time for a famous quote I hear a lot. What's your problem?!

Weddings Weddings Everywhere

I've done a pant-load of weddings this month. Okay so Keith actually filmed and/or edited 80% of those - but if he's home and doing nothing why NOT have him do it? At any rate this is my 2nd wedding in two days and oddly I'm totally fine with it.

Lately with the wedding video scene folks have started picking songs I haven't heard - or just haven't already used in a wedding vid which seems to make the editing process go a lot more smoothly. When you have to hear a song you don't like over and over 40 million times it starts to eat at you.

We did a drow wedding this month which was awesome! Finally something totally different than the 'norm'! I only filmed the reception (cuz Keith had to go to work) but still! It was nice to see something different for a change.

Not sure if I've updated about it or not: But I'm renting a plot of land for about 6k a month and when I don't want it I don't have to worry about selling it or anything. Keith kinda didn't get it at first - but now he's cool with it. And its really upped business! Which was my overall goal anyway. Haha! I win!

Staying at home is really starting to wear on me. Even though I try to keep myself busy with videos, scheduling, cleaning, cooking what have you - I still feel really blah. I think its because I don't get any alone time. Yeah yeah I know - I'm home alone while Keith is at work - but that's the only time! I don't even go shopping alone which just the thought seems like a luxury. I love my husband so so much ... and he's so so great ... but there are times I'd like to go to the bookstore and browse books by myself. The two of us go out and do things almost every weekend (unless there's a video scheduled) and I love doing that ... but there are days I want some solitude I guess.

When I'm home alone - I'm still here. The only time I leave this house is when its with Keith. Hell he even takes me to my dentist appointments. I love spending time with him and all that - but like I said there are times I just want to go to the coffee shop and sit and have a cup or two while reading a book or something. I know I could easily do that at home while he's at work - but I think its because I associate home WITH work now. When I'm here and he's at work ... I'm at work too. I spend a lot of time in SL doing marketing and advertising work. I know he doesn't see it as work because for one: He's good at it and two he really likes it --- but for me I have to struggle to do even a fraction of the quality he does. So YES it is work! Anything that you have to really try to do and fret over I would consider work. Anything that you do that you're good at and can do with great ease is a hobby. Natural Selection Studios is a hobby for Keith - but its constant work for me.

Well the wedding I'm filming starts in about 15 minutes so I'd better cut this off. I'll update more later!

Serious Case of Neglect

So lately I've really been neglecting my blog - and I feel horrible about it. I hope no one hotlines me for it :( Since my computer died I've been left mourning it and this laptop as nice as it is and as convienent as it is really leaves one for wanting. I get like .5 FPS in Second Life - WoW runs slightly better ... but its really just a pain. While Keith is at work I use his beast of a machine - but when he's home I'm stuck with this contraption. It isn't comfortable to type on either, really. Geeze why am I whining? At least I have something, right?

Keith actually posted a rant on his blog that I totally agree with. Not to mention I've already flown off on a tangent or two about it on my own blog. I'm slowly SLOWLY learning to let things go - even if I do get a twinge of anger over it. I'll narrow my eyes and mumble "Damn. It." but no more random rants where I talk for like 5 minutes and say variations of the word 'fuck' 93849283 times.

Not sure if we're gonna take any kind of trip this weekend or not. I am about to put our London pics on Flickr for those that look at our pics, anyway. I know his family checks my blog and our flickr accounts often so we try to keep everything up to date. My family couldn't be arsed to open a URL to see what I'm up to - so I mostly keep track of everything for my own benefit and for a few friends back in my hometown.

I plan to start shooting a few videos probably next month - all fun and no profit. And y'know I don't care if some hack with Fraps used a song I wanted to use (Jelly knows who I'm talking about)... I'll still use it. Why am I like 'that'? "OMFG they used what I wanted to use ... and now everyone is going to compare A to B because they put theirs out first yet I had the idea I just never got around to it till now. NOW I can't use that song/theme!" Seriously I need to chill.

And I read somewhere that Anne Rice went all 'Born Again Christian' and I think that's the biggest slug to the chest. She wrote the most in depth novels that were both darkly romantic yet chilling ... and now she's "Writing for Jesus Christ". I'm hurt. I don't know what to say.

With that, friends - I will just leave you with a song of the day :) The song is: They Weren't There by Missy Higgins (I love this girl!)




Lyrics:

You breathed infinity into my world
And time was lost up in a cloud and in a whirl.
We dug a hole in the cool grey earth and lay there for the night.
Then you said, 'wait for me we'll fly the wind,
We'll grow old and you'll be stronger without him' but oh,
Now my world is at your feet. I was lost and I was found,
But I was alive and now I've drowned.
So now I will be waiting for the world to hear my song
So they can tell me I was wrong...

But they weren't there beneath your stare,
And they weren't stripped 'till they were bare of
Any bindings from the world outside that room.
And they weren't taken by the hand
And led through fields of naked land
Where any pre-conceived ideas were blown away...
So I couldn't say 'no'.

You sighed and I was lost in you, weeks could've past for all I knew.
You were there blanket of the over-world and so I couldn't say,
I wouldn't say 'no'. But they all said, 'you're too young to even know,
Just don't let it grow and you'll be stronger without him'
But oh, now, my world is at your feet. I was lost and I was found,
But I was alive and now I've drowned.
So now I will be waiting for the world to hear my song
So they can tell me I was wrong...

But they weren't there beneath your stare,
And they weren't stripped 'till they were bare
Of any bindings from the world outside that room.
And they weren't taken by the hand and led through fields
Of naked land where any pre-conceived ideas were blown away...

But they weren't there beneath your stare,
And they weren't stripped 'till they were bare
Of any bindings from the world outside that room.
And they weren't taken by the hand and led through fields
Of naked land where any pre-conceived ideas were blown away...
So I couldn't say 'no'.

I'm thinking of using it for an Anniversery type Video for Keith in like ... ohhhhh march? lol

Watching isn't as much fun as DOING

Went to the dentist Friday and she filled a small cavity I've had for probably two years but never noticed ... anyway so she's filling up every cavity I have no matter now small. I shouldn't complain .. but its still the dentist! But she's a really nice lady and it isn't painful.

While I was getting shots and drills in my face Keith bought a new game for the 360. They were out of DDR pads so he hasn't gotten ME a game yet (I also want Guitar Hero II but he says they lock up) so yet again 'm stuck sitting here and just watching him play video games.

I kinda took matters into my own hands and have started a Lineage II download. Yeah I could have gone back to WoW but I didn't really want to. I know all the quest lines and crap. I'm sure its going to suck playing on a Laptop but it shouldn't be THAT bad. I mean .. I played WoW on this laptop for months.

I have a wedding to film tonight - another to do tomorrow ... and I decided to just rent a plot of land instead of buying the one next to "the one that used to be next to Jelly". I didn't want to be stuck with land if I wanted to sell - so I thought renting would be the best way to go. keith was sitll all 'WTF" about it but meh. Its really cut out a lot of time that I WAS spending in Second Life - and at the same time notecards are still getting distributed. So the moral is: I Win.

So I'm anxiously waiting for Lineage II to download since I haven't had a game I enjoy playing for the last 4 months or so. I quit WoW for CoH/CoV cuz Keith didn't want to pay for both -- but then I quit CoH/CoV cuz I didn't like it. And if I dont' like Lineage I'll just go back to EverQuest or something. What can I say? I'm a dork for MMORPGs [shrug]

WHY OHHHH WHYYY! Oh the HUMANITY!!!!!

Alright so as most know I have been saving up to buy a lil plot of land. I'm up to a little over 9k now (I've started splitting profit from the wedding videos ... Keith doesn't know YET) and have oooh about 30K to go.

I already hate it. I hate not spending any money!! All these designers are putting out shit I want so I just sit .. stare at the pics .. sigh .. then walk away. I've never really been a shopper. I don't even change clothes more than once a week ... but when I want something I normally get it. But now? Now that has been taken from me ... by .. me!

I don't really care if I don't have a new skin, and I don't really care if I don't have new clothes - I could use some new hair - but y'know I doubt if I'd even wear the new hair much. I pretty much just stick with the same few hairstyles honestly.

Alright so I still have a long way to go in order to get any land .. then after that I have to buy a prefab. I was going to buy one a few weeks back - but now I'm glad I didn't after seeing how common it is in SL. HOWEVER: I do still really like that prefab and may still get it anyway. Why shouldn't I? If I changed my hair/clothes every time I saw someone else with the same outfit on I'd never have the same shit on for more than a couple hours at most.

The 'semi downside' to the land I want is that its next door to JellyBean and HawksRock and I really think they'd prefer their privacy - but GOD its such a nice sim! And fairly cheap! And its soooo quiet! So I've really got some thinking to do. I'm sure by the time I save up that 40k that the plot I want will be gone so the 'me being respectful of space' issue won't be an issue ... but the issue will be more of me keeping the reigns tight on myself so that I don't spend what I've saved!!! Its so hard though!

I guess my problem is that I read too many blogs so I see all this shit the designers put out and I go "ooooooh" and "Ahhhhhh" then suddenly I go "Wahhhhhhhh" because i remember that I'm SAVING. It'll all be worth it in the end, right?

Song of the Day

Where'd You Go by Mighty Mighty Bosstones


Keith loves that song ^^

Fwap!

I love my husband. He happens to be quite attractive (in my eyes anyway) and very romantical. However, he never seems to do what I ask him to do without putting up an argument like a teenager. And .. some days it makes me wanna just thump his nose! I know he does it just to annoy me - but rawgh! Even though I get over it about 15 minutes later it still aggravates me. I can't ask him to do something (like fold laundry) without hearing things like "But YOU always fold it, why do I gotta fold it? If I fold it .. its just gonna be messed up." And that just drives me up the wall! I wonder if its just his way of trying to get out of doing it ... or if its some 'husband' chromosome that activates in all men once they get married. Its probably a combination of both.

I tried really hard to stay on the 6am - 3pm sleep schedule but Keith keeps switching it around. Some days he'll come home at like 8am and stay up until 2pm then want to go to bed .. but I went to bed hours ago and am ready to get up about the time he's winding down. Today he came home from work at about 8am and stayed up until about 9:30pm and is now sound asleep when this is like my normal 'lunch' time.

For once I decided to sit out in the conservatory and brought my laptop out here (since my computer died *emotear*) so that I can sit and type my chubby little fingers off without waking Keith up.

He bought us an Xbox 360 Elite yesterday - but totally skimped on the game. He picked up some 20$ thing that was kinda cute and funny at first but has quickly gotten stale to me. Anyway we've been playing Rayman off and on .. and I pretty much just don't play unless its the music/dancing challenge where its kinda like DDR or Elite Beat Agents. Not only because I like it .. but because Keith doesn't have much rhythm. Its okay though - it works out better that way because I hate the shooting stages.

Due to the death of my computer I haven't logged into SL except to send IMs to those that have scheduled weddings to follow up and make sure there have been no changes to their plans. Other than that I just haven't really been in the mood. Of course I'll log in on Keith's computer when I have to film these weddings but until then I'm just not really gunnin for #1 right now. I'm just chillin.

So yeah sitting out here in the conservatory with a big can of Strongbow (and its NOT a Chav drink outside the city. REALLY!) and some cigarettes that I haven't smoked but probably will here soon. I'm not sure why ... but its just relaxing to me. Keith only likes smoking from the hookah but pfft after a few beers or ciders I don't care! I made some hummus earlier which flopped, actually :( I used a bit too much lemon juice even though I used LESS than what the recipe said to use! Meh trial and error I guess. It wasn't HORRIBLE but it wasn't good either :( I tried!

Keith has been writing a lot on a series, but I still don't know when he'll film it. He's pretty much done it alone. When he's got free time at work (and it happens a LOT) he'll write a page or two of a script. He's had me brainstorm with him on a few occasions but it isn't to get a story down, its more or less to just develop is own so I haven't really played a part in the process. Not that I really mind because I honestly haven't felt up to writing anything lately. I think its just because of putting so much energy into these weddings - but I can't be sure.

OMG I watched like 40 million episodes of Buffy last night and the night before and man I forgot how much I love that show! I really miss it :( I may have to get Keith to buy season DvDs of it. That and Charmed! I loved that show too! It was better after Shannon Doherty died off and was replaced by Rose McGowan IMHO. I think I was just "Brenda'd" out from all my years of watching 90210 as a tween. But yeah - totally good show after her ass was gone.

I know I've totally just rambled through this whole post - but I'm on my way to drunk right now so deal with it! At least I'm spelling pretty well, but even if I weren't it isn't like anyone else would know - that's what that ABC button is for at the top. I win!

So with my computer's death has come the end of my SL Dj'ing for a bit. It makes me kinda sad because I was going to use that DJ money for land in SL in order to slap a prefab on and give myself a little office type thing .. but NooOOooOooo sabotaged. Okay it wasn't REALLY sabotage but that doesn't make me like it any more! It does suck, though. Just when I think I have everything figured out .. FWAP .. some obstacle slaps me in the forehead. Oh well. It'll all get back on track sometime soon.

I still haven't uploaded the London pics to Flickr yet - but I do plan to sometime soon. I don't even think Keith has uploaded them yet. I'll get around to it in the next couple days I'm sure. Right now I really dunno what else I could possible say or even give any kind of update on .. so I'll just back away slowlyyyyy