A LEEP of Faith?

So .... Friday I go in for what is called a LEEP. If you are squeamish - don't look it up on YouTube. I'll just summarize it: LEEP is where they take a hot wire to your cervix and slice off some chunks to test.

I already had biopsies of my uterus and cervix ... and they came back bad enough that I am now having this procedure. I can only assume this is to test where to bad tissue stops and the good tissue starts? I don't know because nothing has been explained to me worth a damn. I am also going to assume that is pretty damn serious because my lab results are coming back within 4 days - and each subsequent procedure is booked for the same week that labs are in. I was called on Thursday with lab results - and they booked me for the following Friday for this LEEP.

Right now I still haven't decided if I'm supposed to worry. Well, my indecisive -ness is because of the lack of information I am getting .. and I blame this on the military hospital. The 'doctors' I am seeing are not doctors. They are Nurse Practitioners. I honestly don't think they are qualified to tell me what they see on test results because they haven't told me anything.

When they took an endometrial (inside the uterus) sample for my biopsy ... that part was not explained to me. I was not aware that a long .. thing (I couldn't see) was being put INSIDE my uterus and twisted around (it literally sounded like a potato being peeled) for 5 minutes. It was painful. No one told me to take some tylenol before I came because there would be no kind of pain management used while taking the biopsies of my uterus and cervix. I showed up thinking I was basically getting a very in depth pap.

This time I have decided to prepare MYSELF. This was a bit of a mistake. I watched the procedure being done - and it just looks painful. Its humiliating and painful ... and I've already been warned to take 800mg of Motrin an hour before my appointment. I asked about 'real' pain medication for afterward ... but was just told "Motrin should be enough." Bullshit. Once the adrenaline from the stress of the procedure wears off .. I am going to hurt. I better get some damn drugs, damn it.

So much crap going on that I don't know whether I'm coming or going. I'd like for everything to just be finished. This is also happening in the midst of us leaving to move to Germany in ... about 8 weeks. Yeah. Awesome timing.

On Stress, Worry, and Being Worn Thin

A lot has happened this week.

I realize that I haven't posted a blog in forever - but does that really matter? No. I blog when I think about it - and this week I've thought about a lot of things.

I don't even want to go into the whole backstory of everything. I almost don't even want to say what's been going on. Maybe if I just get the imaginary fat turd down the toilet then maybe I could stand the stench.

I am awaiting lab results. I had a colposcopy last week and am now waiting to be told whether or not I have cervical cancer.

Let me start off by saying that if a military doctor tells you "The procedure isn't painful, you'll be able to walk right out of here with no problem" tell them to kiss your ass and give you something for pain anyway. This procedure was the second time I have been told that it was 'minor' and 'almost totally painless' ... the first time was when I had 3 wisdom teeth sawed out of my jaw then sent home with no pain medication and no stitches.

This time - I had some sort of spork rammed into my uterus where they proceeded to scrape at things so loudly you could hear what sounded like potatoes being peeled, as well as taking biopsies of my cervix. The cervix part wasn't too painful - until the person doing my biopsy said "uh oh" and asked the assistant to go get some Colonel. Apparently even in 2011 military medicine hasn't progressed much passed the MASH 4077 or something. All I could hear before the biopsy lady was interrupted was: "I was trying to take a biopsy of the abnormality at 12 o'clock when .. well the tissue was so soft .. and ..." then the Colonel asked "You ok? You feeling faint or nauseous or anything?"

3 hours. That's how long it took. That's how long I was spread eagle on a tiny table with 3 people all looking at this microscope thing seeing inside my vagina. 3 hours and 4 flat hospital bed pads full of blood later - I am told to just hop off the table, get dressed, and walk myself out.

Here's my main complaint about the procedure. I was not told that anything was going to be put in my uterus. It was very painful. Its still painful 3 days later. I was only told that there would be a sample taken from my cervical opening -- but I was not prepared for the pain of having the inside of my uterus scraped at for 10 minutes. I was not advised to take any pain relief medication before my appointment - which might have helped with some of the pain - but was also given nothing after the procedure itself. I've now only been told that the samples will be tested in pathology and I will receive a phone call by Tuesday the 22nd with results.

I'm thinking that maybe once I have those results that I will be more prepared to talk about things - but since everything is kind of hanging in the balance I don't want to think one way or another right now.

Oh Blog, How I've Neglected You

As anyone can see I have severely neglected my blog. Why? I'm not entirely sure. Well a couple reasons, really.

I was planning a trip to Germany - which is done and over.

And the weather here in England has been so nice that I haven't been indoors a whole lot.

I know, neither are really good excuses - but I'm back on the Blog-train so let's get this thing rollin'!


Keith and I spent 6 glorious days in Germany at the Edelweiss resort which was ah-may-zing!! Due to me being neurotic we flew instead of driving. For me its just nice knowing I don't have to worry about getting from point A to point B. I really enjoy just sitting back and not worrying for a change.

I don't want to go all picture crazy, so here's a link to the flikr set that Keith uploaded: Germany Picture Set. Bare in mind that is only a small piece of the 500 pictures we took - but since we have a free flikr account we're limited in what we can upload every month ... so more pictures will be uploaded in May.

Holiday Recap

My holiday was really hectic - even though we didn't go anywhere. Keith and I had our Brit friends over for Christmas dinner and in some ways it was completely hysterical.

Right now I can't remember everything we had - but I made a lot of things which they have NEVER had before. Candied yams, green bean casserole, pumpkin pie and pecan pie. I also made a huge friggin' ham, and they brought sausages, spuds, duck and beef. I even picked up a few gifts for them. I ground up some Columbian Supremo coffee for Tree, a 6 pack of IBC Root Beer (which is like the BEST root beer on the face of the planet) for her man, and got her daughter a silly little SpongeBob tin which she squealed over.

We were going to go to London for New Years eve to see the fireworks, but Keith had to work New Years Day so that was out of the question. We wouldn't have made it home in time for him to go to work, but have decided that next year we simply MUST find a way to go.

I had some more dental work done this morning, and I'm hoping that my monthly visit to Dr Barker will be over soon. She's a splendid lady, really - but let's face it: its still a dentist. The entire right side of my head is numb which is making it very difficult to drink my tea!

Keith got me all 7 seasons of Buffy on DVD so we have been watching a few episodes every night. He's really suprised that he likes it. I've been using his tablet more than he has - but he said when he gets an itch he'll play with it.

I'm glad the holidays are over and things are calming down. It seems though this week I will spend hours every day cleaning the house to get it back in order. We had this place SPOTLESS and it seems we got really lazy over the holiday.

Not sure if I posted anything about it - but we got our pictures taken with my haircut and everything was fine. I sent a scanned copy to my friend Stef and it got her "awww" of approval. Keith started his workout routine the other day and I'm sure it won't be long before I follow suit. He said he ran a mile on the treadmill and it was 'a good warm up' and I nearly shat myself. WARMUP?! That would be two days worth of exercise for me! Bah.

My SL stuff has slowed to a crawl. I don't really have the energy for most of it. I don't want to make things - and I don't even want to film anymore. Machinima is the new DJ of SL. Remember how EVERYONE was a DJ once upon a time? Well now days everyone is a 'machinima artist' or 'filmmaker' in SL which makes me want to just spit. Its like .. drawing a stick man and calling yourself an artist. Yeah SOMEONE will consider it art - but overall its just shit. I'm just as stupid for even getting any kind of emotional 'work up' over it but whatever.

We got a magazine in the post this weekend - which had a two page spread of a video we did - which is very cool. Its in French so I can't read it but that doesn't make it any less awesome. I'll have to scan it later and post it. The name of the magazine is VoxPop so check it out if you're in France!

Hmm what else. Did I mention the house is a mess?

Oh. And when coming onto the base today my car was thoroughly searched - which almost made me late for my appointment. I don't know why I am always the one to be 'randomly' searched but it always works out that way. I guess I should be all "well at least they are making sure things are secure" but even though I think that LATER at the time I'm just frustrated.

When you pull up to the gates and they check your military ID and your other card that has all your vehicle info they say "Hello ma'am - if you'll pull up inbetween the cones and wait for further instruction your car is selected for random search." So you pull up - still holding your cards to enter the base and hand it to a guy holding an M16 and with a 9mm on his hip and he smiles and asks "Consent to search?" Right - like you REALLY need my verbal concent, buddy! I mean c'mon! I replied with "Yes sir!" of course - it isn't like there's much of an option. So then he moves to let me open my car door and says "Open all compartments. Hood, trunk, console, glove box - anything that opens." So I open everything in the car - pop the hood and the boot (boot means trunk here in England) then get out and open all four doors.

He still has one hand on his M16 while he puts one hand behind my back to usher me into this little cubby hole of plexi glass or something while another soldier walks out and rummages through my car. "I left my handbag in the car. In case, you know, you all wanted to check it too." The "usher" then tells the bloke searching my car that my handbag is in the car. While in the glass fort I'm asked random questions like "Where are you going?" and "How long will you be on base" while secretly wishing I had taken the other entrance into the base.

Of course everything checks out fine and he hands me my IDs back and close the hood, boot (trunk), 3 doors and slip into the drivers' seat. I close all the inside compartments and stick my base pass on my dash and head off to my appointment. Then once I'm in the dentist's chair and she's sticking a needle in my cheek I silently wish they would have searched more so that I didn't have to be where I was right then.

Military life - gotta love it.

Wrapping Paper Sucks

When I lived at home with my parents, I used to have my mom wrap all my gifts because she was SO particular. She liked them to be wrapped a certain way, and they had to look pretty. I never really understood because hey - they're just going to get torn open anyway, right?! Well the other day I couldn't find scissors to wrap a few of Keith's gifts so I ended up just ripping the paper from the roll. A day or two later he wrapped his gifts to me and sat them under our little one foot tall fiber optic tree and I immediately sulked.

He put so much time and effort into wrapping my gifts and here mine looked like complete crap in comparison. No idea why that bothered me, but it did! I felt like some kind of Christmas failure. He's already dubbed me Miss Grinch - and seeing our wrapping jobs next to each other just made it all worse.

I have one gift of his left to wrap, and I've decided that I'm going to put some effort into wrapping it. We haven't got any ribbon or bows - but I am still going to at least make it look better than the shoddy job I did on the others.

We share so many interests - but holiday cheer is not one of them. I really have tried, but no dice. People decking their houses out with lights is somewhat a new 'thing' here in England, but in the States nearly everyone does it. I kind of expect that sort of thing out of Americans. America is the land of excess, the country of waste. Who cares about how much electricity we waste on all those decorations - looks good don't it?! Here we separate all our trash in order to put things in our recycle bin which is about 3x the size of our trash bin. The inspection for cars is far more in depth here than in America ... but now England is splurging and tossing aside their green way of things in favor of having twinkling lights all over their cottages, bungalows, and flats. It makes me feel bad, in a way. I really don't know how to explain it.

Keith and I haven't really made any friends here. Nearly everyone he works with is well older than we are - and if they aren't then they have at least two kids which immediately puts a bit of a damper on things. We have, however, met up with our Second Life friend Treebee - and she has definitely stepped up to the unknown challenge of taking the place of my best friend.

Okay so she isn't really my BEST friend because how could anyone ever fill the gap of my REAL best friend, Stefanie? They couldn't. Stef and I have known each other since we were 15 (Holy crap 12 years already?!) and we have been through so much together. We're sisters, really. Not the bickering type sisters, but the kind that finishes each others' sentences. Though Tree is well older than I am (her daughter is 15) she has this amazing aura about her. She and I are eerily alike in amazingly so many ways that it almost puts me off. Things that I like (that Stef doesn't) and I think - no one could ever like THAT - Tree likes it! She just puts off this energy that makes you want to just hug her. She's so raw and honest, yet carefree and cautious. Its really hard for me to describe.

Keith and I have invited Tree, her man, and her daughter over for Christmas dinner. Last Christmas Keith was still living in the dorms on the military base, and his suite mate was on leave so it was just us. It was charming, really - but it was quite sterile. Even though I didn't have a great holiday family I still missed the anxiety of getting things together for them.

Its weird, really. I hate cleaning house - but I love cleaning it when I know that Tree and her lot are coming over. I'm not cleaning the house for me, I'm doing it for them. Yes, I know they wouldn't care if my house looked like complete shite - but it feels like I'm reaching some sort of goal when I do it.

I've only just noticed that I'm jumping around a lot in what I'm writing, but I'm just going with whatever comes to mind. Sorry if it seems frantic :(

I haven't started working out yet. Keith wanted to go one day last week, but I had my monthly and really wasn't feeling up to it (who could blame me?!) I'm still not sure if or when I will feel compelled enough to actually get my arse in gear and work out. A big part is that since we've been together I feel so physically dwarfed by his good looks. He's tall and thin with a great personality. He's a people pleaser. He's just a good guy. I'm short and fat with a weird personality that couldn't be bothered with what anyone else thinks .. unless I'm with him. I think my deviant self is really an embarrassment to him or something. I think that somehow, somewhere inside him that he HAS to be embarrassed of how I look. Skinny blond bloke like him should have a skinny bird on his arm. Not some loud mouth mix of Roseanne Barr, Rosie O'Donnel with a heavy helping of Bjork's eccentricity. Not that I don't love every one of those women (who are so outspoken about politics, feminism, and art) but it never feels like it suits him.

Time and time again I've heard lines of if you're happy with yourself then you've got it made. I am happy with myself. I really don't have a problem with my body - but I just feel like I'm not as .. well .. hot as I should be, I guess.

Never has Keith said "You're fat and I find you unattractive." Hell, I've never even caught him oogling a prettier woman which means he's either A) way more slick than I could ever imagine or B) I really put too much stock in how I think I'm looked upon. It isn't as shallow as what I'm wearing because I'm shameless when it comes to clothes. I will wear the tackiest shit because I like it! But its because as the years go by its harder and harder to find clothes. I really don't like wearing what I can only call a 'tent'. I want to wear weird leg warmers and 3 shirts at the same time. Maybe some hot pink holographic tights under a skirt with a pair of worn out yellow Chuck Taylor's. But I can't. I'm too fat.

Then it comes back around. I'm too fat but I know working out won't do a thing for me. Argue all you want, but even in high school when I was what I would NOW call thin (5'4 140lbs) I ran more than a mile every day - yet still I was round. I had a belly pooch. I had dimples on my thighs. When I sat down my stomach still rolled over the top of my jeans! At one point I even did the no carb thing - and I didn't lose a pound. I only got more tired! I've been reading and at this stage in my life I am considered obese. I used to think that it took far more to be obese, but I've hit that mark. Women who weigh more than like 200lbs are considered obese, and that really bothers me. Not the WORD obese, but the health risks that come with it.

There are surgical procedures that can be done, but being on military health care I can't have a one of them. I don't see a Lt. Col. calling me back to surgery to have my gut stapled. It just won't happen. I also don't see how I would get anything like that done here in England where you are 3x as likely to die of easily curable cancers like colon cancer than in the States. And see, I've gone and freaked myself out. BAH!

Working out won't hurt anything. My shins won't let me run anymore due to all the hard running in high school for the tennis and softball teams - but I could ride an exercise bike I'd bet. I'm sure that if I started out with just like ... 15 mins on a bike then walked a mile or so on a treadmill that the results would start to show. I've heard NOTHING but GOOD things about pilates, but I don't think I live anywhere near a gym that offers such a thing.

I'm not sure what to do, but I'll do something. Sometime. Maybe.

I am NOT ready for my close-up

I have an appointment today at a hair salon to get my hair cut, and after that Keith and I have an appointment at a photography studio to get professional pictures taken. Sounds fab, huh? IT ISN'T!

I always get a bout of anxiety and get real 'uppidy' when it comes to things like this. Okay fine, you got me - I get high strung about nearly everything and have a little freak out session often ... but getting my hair cut is always one of those things that just freak me out!

Part of the reason is up until about 3 years ago, I had the same hair dresser since I was 9. She knew my hair. She knew that no matter what haircut I WANTED she always knew what would look better. The problem with getting a new hairdresser is if you walk in and say "I want my hair cut like THIS" that they will cut it like that and if its complete shite you're stuck with it. *MY* hairdresser would never do that to me. To make this all worse we're having pictures taken afterward.

So a stranger is going to be chopping at my hair and probably not caring if the haircut clashes with my fat face. She probably won't know that even though my hair has turned a brownish reddish color with my age - that it still shows EVERY cut you make as if it were still blond. I had the hardest time as a blond. It took *MY* hairdresser a few years to get the hang of cutting my hair just right so that you couldn't see every cut she made. When I was about 13 that "Rachel" haircut (y'know .. from friends?) with the millions of layers was in. I could not sport this haircut because of my blondish reddish naturally highlighted hair because every layer looked as if you had given me different facets of a bowl cut.

Will this hairdresser butcher my hair? Will she actually listen to the things I tell her like:

• I don't have a natural part
• Even though I don't have any cow licks - one side of my hair always seems longer than the other
• If I can't style it with and walk out the door in 10 minutes - I'll hate it
• Bangs/Fringe make my face look fatter and I don't care what you say
• I have a weird mole thing on my head so if you even HINT at it I'll be mortified
• Even if you thin my hair out its still REALLY thick and will take you a half hour to blow dry
• If you have to use a curling iron on my hair to make it look good - you're trying too hard
• I prefer to not use more than two products on my hair on the rare occasion i DO style it
• Take into consideration I get a haircut once a year when it hits that awkward grow out stage
• The messier the better

I know that all seems like a lot, and some if it is contradictory ... but will she even listen?! Will she humor me and just grin and nod and then just do her own thing? Does anyone else ever freak out like this before getting their hair cut? I feel so juvenile!

My other 'freak out' thing right now is pictures. The last time I had professional portraits done was in high school. I didn't mind it so much because hey - its a portrait and I thought I was totally friggin' hot back then. Well I've gained probably 50 pounds (if not MORE) since then, but was lucky enough to marry a very VERY attractive man. Now, I feel inferior in looks (which drives Keith up the WALL and he wishes I'd just stop it!) and I wish I were thin enough to hide behind him for this whole ordeal. Vertically, I can hide behind him - but otherwise FORGET IT! I know that these aren't going to be full nude pictures (or even partially for that matter) but I do know the extra work it takes to photograph such contrasting couples for classic portrait photography. I know that I would feel more comfortable if I could somehow take our pictures myself - but we'd end up with these 'weird' photos that would just play off our contrasting appearance and it would be more minimalist slash modern portraits .. but GAH!

Regardless of my level of freak out (we are at Def con Bravo right now on my Freak Out Meter, people!) I will end up somehow pulling myself together to do all of this stuff. I'll sit in that salon chair and make small talk while a strange lady touches that weird mole on my head. I will then probably have to go into a story saying how my mother AND grandmother both have a mole in that same spot, and probably then say the same for the one near my ear which we all 3 have in common. We'll talk about the weather and about what we got our families for Christmas. I'll then thank her for her work on my what COULD be butchered hair, then I'll pick Keith up from work. After that I'll stand around in a studio drooling over the cameras, asking the photographer what school they went to (if any), and simply wait for the discomfort which comes once they start squinting behind a tripod (because few photographers actually look through the finder anymore with these new digital thingies) while I keep saying "don't blink don't blink don't blink" to myself in my head.

Ugh, am I losing my mind?!

Bah Humbug!

I'm the first to admit that I've never really been one of those 'Christmasy' types. I don't like hearing carrols on the loud speaker in EVERY store I go in. I don't really like wrapping presents, and I really like the fact that we have a 1 foot tall fiber optic tree because I don't like decorating, either!

My parents always hated that I was never excited about Christmas. They hated to buy me gifts because I wouldn't absolutely flip over them when I opened them. Now that I think about it, it was really rare that they actually got me something I wanted. For instance - when I asked for a No Doubt CD I got Maria Carey. All in all, they didn't really know me. I can assume they knew me as well as any other parent knows their teenager, but Christmas presents were always so ... hollow to me.

Keith complained the other day that I am too easy to shop for. Mind you my mother used to be LIVID trying to figure out what to get me.

So on our first married Christmas together we're kinda mixing traditions. My family really doesn't have any other than we normally just cooked a big breakfast Christmas day - whereas Keith's does the big dinner thing. We didn't open any presents early, but even up to the time I was 19 I would get up at like 5am - but it was a strict rule that I couldn't wake my parents before 6am. My mom even fixed up a coffee filter to brew a pot of coffee as soon as she got up to save time. So once mom had her morning cup and fag - we could start dishing out the presents. The stockings were always last. Always.

Dad usually dished out the presents to all of us because there was some mystical order in which the presents had to be opened. Even though we took turns being "Santa" mom would yell "NOT THAT ONE!" so we'd have to push it aside and open whatever it was she slid in front of us until we got the green light for the one she was sooo adamant about us NOT opening. If this is all sounding like a scene from A Christmas Story (Y'know "You'll shoot your eye outtt") then that's really how it went at my house.

Keith's parents sent us advent calendars - which I've never had before. Why? Well like I said - my family really isn't into holidays. Keith has also bought a thing of paper lunch bags and tea light candles that he says he'll line our driveway with .. for some reason. He just shrugged and said "tradition" so I'm not sure he knows what possible meaning could be behind it all.

Keith is also having a much harder time being away from his family than I am, but I think its because of lots of different reasons. For one - my parents aren't really involved in my life. I can honestly say that I don't think they have ever had any interest in what I do - other than just making sure I wasn't getting into trouble as a teenager. Keith's family calls him at least 3-5+ times a week, whereas I feel like I win a lottery if my family even picks up the phone.

It could just be that I feel he takes too much for granted like his parents always backing him up, or knowing that no matter what decision he makes that his family won't denounce his existence ... and maybe that's caused me to be a bit more bah humbug this year? I'm really not sure. I do know that I got him some kick ass presents so this Christmas should be better than last year (I got him a few video games and some other random things.)

I was tagged.

So Hawk's tagged me, and I had no idea WTF I was being tagged for so I had to read. I like reading, fortunately. So here we are at the 'tagging' portion.

(1) Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
(2) People who are tagged need to write a post on their own blog (about their eight things) and post these rules.
(3) At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
(4) Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.



(1) I prefer hot drinks to cold ones. I will pick warm red wine over a cold beer any day of the week. I will drink a cup of tea or coffee before I will even think of cracking open a can of pop. I also tend to use a lot of sugar in my hot drinks (3 sugars and milk, please) which tend to make a lot of people shudder (especially here in England) but hey .. I like it!

(2) I took voice lessons for 9 years and am a 'classically' trained singer. I auditioned for a small part in the off-Broadway production of Phantom of the Opera in 1999. I sang on stage (ever so briefly) with Sara Brightman who was touring with the troupe and training the new Christine. Though it was only one song .. I thought I could have died happy at that moment. Unfortunately I was offered a job I didn't want (set construction) and turned it down. I addition to my voice lessons I was awarded a vocal scholarship to University of Missouri (Mizzou) but the scholarship didn't pay enough so it went to waste. I was awarded a walk on softball scholarship as well as a vocal and bright flight (I scored a 32 on my ACT) scholarships to a small community college. Also? I sing off key and stuff on purpose because I think my 'operatic' singing voice is odd and that anyone who is around to me to actually hear me sing would turn up their nose.

(3) If I my husband didn't demand otherwise - I would dress like Punky Brewster. I mean, even now my clothes are a hodge podge of things I pick up at Charity shops and I tend to heavily layer things. If he didn't have so much say in how I look publicly - I would most likely resemble a bag lady .. only without the stench.

(4) Apple juice makes me poop. A lot. I know its gross, but your average normal person should be able to drink a glass of apple juice without running to the bathroom an hour later! I am not average and can NOT drink much apple juice. Anything more than ohh .. a glass that you'd drink a cocktail out of is TOO much. I used to think it was an allergy, but I can eat apples! I don't know anymore .. I just avoid apple juice for the most part.

(5) I keep tarot cards in a blue Hello Kitty tin inside a purple velvet pouch. I used to search tirelessly for 'antique' tarot cards, but I could never tell how old any one card was :( So I gave up, and just keep the deck I was given when I was 15. Also? I've always wanted a crystal ball and have always wanted to make a living by being a 'fortune teller' or spellcaster. So far, no dice. But there have been a couple times I've thought about charging for tarot readings and stuff. Maybe. One day.

(6)I'm a sleep humper. It was embarrassing when I was younger. I'd be sleeping over at a friends' house, toss, turn, then do a little humpage on whatever. A pillow, leg, pet golden retriever .. whatever was RIGHT NEXT TO ME. I thought it was weird and perverse, but evidently its fairly common for people to do that sort of thing. Its just a different 'soothing' action when you're almost woken up. I've been doing it apparently since I was 2 (according to my mother).

(7)I can pooch out my stomach SO FAR that it looks like I'm like 135 months pregnant. I will also have to admit here that I have done this to cut in line at public bathrooms. Though I kinda feel bad for using my 'stupid human trick' to just cut in line .. I will say that if there were any elderly or if there were actually a pregnant woman in line then I would gladly give them my spot. I also threaten to have "Pregnant Days" when Keith is a butthole to me. He thinks its gross and creepy so I use it to my advantage. Piss me off? Oooh no! We're in public and suddenly I'm 9 months pregnant with a 15 pound kid!

(8)I have victory dances for almost every kind of 'victory' imaginable. Such as:
Right Answer
They said Yes
I just shot someone (video game)
I got a headshot (video game)
OMFG I am so excited
Haha I'm doing this dance to embarass you
I can't believe you just admitted I was right
Haha I told you I was right
I just got a treat (candy/chocolate)
I just got a present (birthday)
I just got a present (holiday)
I just got a suprise (all occasions)
I love this show (TV/Series)
I love this song

The list goes on and on :/

so now I must tag folks. Eight of them ...

Jen
Saraa
Keith
WillowZ
Chris
Dave
Valerie
Stef

Running Behind

I really meant to do a 'How My Birthday Went' post .. but I am just swamped.

Keith and I had dinner at my favourite pub, I had a couple pints and a glass of wine. We finished watching Austrailia v England rugby match (England won!) before we head to the Commissary. He wouldn't let me get out of the car .. so I waited. He came back out with a cake he had ordered earlier in the week along with some cake spray paint, sugary decor that you just lay on the icing (it was Barbie stuff) and some sprinkles.

He then complained of how hard it is to buy things since we are always together. Yah I know, remember? Your birthday was in July and I had to make up a dentist appointment just so I could get the car for a day! Anyway ... we didn't really "do" anything for my birthday other than hang out at the pub for a few hours which is fine by me because as I said its my FAVOURITE pub!

This weekend is the UK Machinima Festival. We got an e-mail a couple days ago which is like a programme more or less - but it doesn't say "your video is being shown on THIS day at THIS time". That's what I had really wanted to know. The even is ALL weekend and I really don't want to have to try to find some form of lodging just so we can be there BOTH days. Its just frustrating is all.

I've been working on our lecture material .. which I still have to get everything put onto the laptop and all that in order to be ready for the lecture at Solent University on the 26th. When I say busy I mean BUSY! I don't really mind it though, I mean, its better than having nothing to do at all.

The downside is that lately I've been slacking on normal things. The house isn't as clean as it should be .. I spend so much time in e-mails that I forget to lay something out for dinner .. things like that. I know Keith doesn't mind eating pizza every night .. but it doesn't keep me from feeling guilty about it some days.

I've got a big rant coming up too. I won't make it a Mean Girls post because its just business related and even though it does have to do with Second Life I'm not sure that it belongs on MGG2SL. We'll see though. I mean, I could always double-post.

Lots and lots of Halo 3 multiplayer lately. I really sucked at first because I haven't picked up an XBox controller for the better part of 5 years .. but I've gotten better. And as sad as this sounds ... I really find enjoyment in busting up a few 12 year old boys' cussing coversations with "Haha you just got your face PWND by a chick, bitches!!!!!" I know. I'm immature.

Second Life Wishes I Were Cooler

SL keeps crashing and kicking me out as if I were the nerd trying to set at the prep table during lunch. And ya know its really a good thing I don't have rejection issues otherwise I might be all emo right now.

My Big Mouth

Quite a bit has gone on, but I don't want to divulge too much information only because I can't follow up right now. I could post here bout things - but then other stuff won't have links for reference and blah blah so I'll hold off. I will give clues though:

• It Involves Second Life
• It involves blogs
• It invilves web sites
• Definately involves typing on someone's end

And there you have it!

Hopping the Pond

For those that haven't seen much of me in game lately its again because Keith and I have been running around finishing paperwork so that we can leave next Thursday. Yes the time has come boys and girls.

I spoke to the passport office on base and they firmly believe that my visa will be back in time for us to leave so that's a little stress off my shoulders. Everything is still pretty hectic though so if everyone could/would just bear with me for another 4 weeks or so everything should equal out and I'll be sane once more.

Right, well I think that is all for now. Lunch is in the oven n.n

Just a quick post to let everyone know that I am now going to subject you all to my music. There are days that I go back and read my own entries to kinda say "Yeah - i remember that." I know it sounds quite cheesy but its so very true.

So for that reason - and for all my LJ friends that are reading past posts in order to get caught up I have added a music player. I know that I listen to obscure music -- but will it hurt you to get exposure to something new? No, it won't. I can guarantee you'll like something. Its also set on random shuffle so you won't hear the same song start up every time you come to my page. If you don't like the music ... or if you're at work .. I'd think by now you've learned to turn the volume OFF on your PC.

Anyway .. so I have to start paperwork to get my passport and visa as soon as Keith and I get married (which will now probably be even SOONER than the 'moved up date' we set) this way he won't leave and go to the UK without me :( O M F G I'd be crushed.

I have a few things to work on - and by that I mean video - but I need some help so it'll be a while yet before I start filming. I highly doubt I post anything for anyone to even see the vid once I finish it. Its a late Valentine's Day present for Keith. He thinks my videos are 'cute attempts' and likes to watch 'em to see what I come up with. So that's why I decided to make him a video.

Most likely I'll post again later with snapshots and whatnot - then it'll be off to edit (PFT off where? I'll be using Keith's beast of a computer!)

To-Do List while Keith is at work

*Purchase anything needed for shoot
*Film what I can
*Call my Mother
*Respond to e-mails/Offlines
*Pick up trash
*Edit footage
*Schedule filming (if needed)
*Make March Calendar

I think that's all ...