Blog Fail.

Holy crap has it really been almost a YEAR since I blogged? Total blog fail.

I'm not even sure if anyone reads this (or ever did) so its always just been here when I get to it. Today I'm getting to it.

Keith and I took a totally amazing cruise vacation and made the Eastern Mediterranean our bitch. We stayed in Rome about 4 days before embarking on our cruise. We went to:

Rome, Italy

Naples, Italy

Capri, Italy

Sorrento, Italy

Pompei, Italy

Athens, Greece

Rhodes, Greece

Kusadasi, Turkey

Ephesis, Turkey

Alexandria, Egypt

Cairo, Egypt

Giza, Egypt

Taormina, Sicily

All that in 16 days! It was insane. I have a lot to talk about our adventures - but one big post just won't sum it up. Well technically I guess it could sum it up, but I wouldn't be doing those places any favours.

The weight loss is going horribly - but that's because I haven't been to the gym in forever.

The past 6 months or so (at least) around here has been so insanely crazy I just don't know where to even begin.

It started with the prospect of Keith deploying, then our whole cruise was like a countdown to deployment because he was supposed to leave 8 days after we got back. THEN they said "You aren't deploying" and now I worry that he'll come home from work one day and say "Welp honey I'm deploying". Its just an emotional rollercoaster.

So what now? Well I'm trying to get un-depressed at the moment. I'm not sure what's really caused it. Maybe the snap back to reality after a super awesome vacation ... or the fact that I feel horrible after spending 5 months mentally and emotionally preparing myself for another deployment only for it NOT to happen - but I am kinda depressed. I'm hoping that after this week of doing almost nothing that next week I can make myself so busy that I don't even have time to think.

Oh Blog, How I've Neglected You

As anyone can see I have severely neglected my blog. Why? I'm not entirely sure. Well a couple reasons, really.

I was planning a trip to Germany - which is done and over.

And the weather here in England has been so nice that I haven't been indoors a whole lot.

I know, neither are really good excuses - but I'm back on the Blog-train so let's get this thing rollin'!


Keith and I spent 6 glorious days in Germany at the Edelweiss resort which was ah-may-zing!! Due to me being neurotic we flew instead of driving. For me its just nice knowing I don't have to worry about getting from point A to point B. I really enjoy just sitting back and not worrying for a change.

I don't want to go all picture crazy, so here's a link to the flikr set that Keith uploaded: Germany Picture Set. Bare in mind that is only a small piece of the 500 pictures we took - but since we have a free flikr account we're limited in what we can upload every month ... so more pictures will be uploaded in May.

Home again

Keith and I finally made our rounds and we're back at home. Not for long though. His port date is May 18th which is when we'll be heading to the UK. So just when we think we have a moment to breathe we have to suck it up and hit the road again.

I really missed home while we were away. I missed the jets most though. Yeah we were in a suburb of Chicago for a few weeks - so there were plenty of jets from O'Hare ... but commercial civillian jets just aren't the same! They're so ... mundane. There's no fun screaming jets that had older versions in movies *cough*TopGun*cough* and stuff. Its just fun to me! I can't help it!

Our Trip

So we were in Chicago from March 16th-April 1st. I met his family and for the most part everyone was very accepting. Of course his parents were shocked to hell at how forward I was .. but everything went fine. Although Keith and his brother had a bit too much to drink ... and his brother said "I can see it in her eyes. She's after your money."

Can anyone help me out here? I really don't understand how that's even possible. He's an E-3 ... so he's only two steps away from being the FURTHEST thing from even moderately comfortable. However, I am no stranger to having to cut corners to cut expenses ... so this is nothing to me. I think he got attraction confused with golddigging seeing has I'm sure his wife never looks at him that way. I can't help it that Keith got all the looks and his brother didn't. I just got lucky that way!

All in all I just want to send a big PISS OFF to Miles and Jen. And its just a coinsidence that we have the same name, don't flatter yourself by saying that Keith went to find a clone of you. Oh and lest we forget - I am almost 3 years older than you which would make YOU the clone, dear. Please get over yourself. Kthnx.

All in all - His parents are dolls. His mother is a bit naive .. but still that's totally understandable. My grandmother is the same way. But his brother, sister in law etc ... Next time I won't play the whole 'grin and bear it' role. I'll start putting pegs in their places. Yanno what I'm sayin'?

My Family

My family wasn't as rough. The only 'questionable' thing that was said was my mother said "Whoa he looks like a kid" right after we got there. But that's not a big deal. At least she didn't say "You're just using my daughter for her spirituality and her carefree attitude!" Cuz as we all know that's about my only assets (teehee)

I was upset though that my mom couldn't be asked to get up and give me a hug when I was leaving ... she just sat on the couch and pointed me in the direction of where some 'leftover' items were and said "Have fun. See ya". And I said "Yeah in like 3 years ..." and I just walked out.

Why do I bother? Why do I always get my hopes up thinking that I'll get some kind of emotion out of her? I always think that maybe she'll show some proof of being human .. but it never happens. Most parents would give their kid a huge hug and at least say "I love you" or something .. but not my mom. And after seeing how Keith's parents reacted to his leaving ... it really made me envious but at the same time I'm glad my parents aren't THAT involved otherwise I'd feel smothered. I dunno.

Song of the Day!

I was sitting here browsing imeem and found a song that I used to listen to a lot in highschool. I was the angry type chick with messy hair ... anyway this song really fits my closing and my overall mood right now.

Mother Mother by Tracy Bonham (she's a great musician so if you haven't heard anything of hers don't let this one song form your opinion!)

Mother mother how's the family?
I'm just calling to say hello.
How's the weather? how's my father?
Am I lonely? heavens no.
Mother mother are ya listening? just a phone call to ease your mind.
Life is perfect, never better, distance making the heart grow fond.

When you sent me off to see the world,
were you scared that I might get hurt?
Would I try a little tobacco,
would I keep on hiking up my skirt?

I'm hungry,
I'm dirty,
I'm losing my mind...
Everything's fine!

I'm freezing,
I'm Starving,
I'm Bleeding death...
Everything's fine!

Yeah, I'm working, making money, I'm just starting to build a name.
I can feel it, around the corner, I could make it any day.
Mother mother can you hear me, sure I'm sober, sure I'm sane.
Life is perfect, never better, still your daughter, still the same.

If I tell you what you want to hear,
will it help you to sleep well at night?
Are you sure that I'm your perfect dear,
now just cuddle up and sleep tight.

I'm hungry,
I'm dirty,
I'm losing my mind...
Everything's fine!

I'm freezing,
I'm starving,
I'm bleeding to death...
Everything's fine!

I miss you,
I love you.

Well the other post didn't work which had way more pics .... so I'll make a flickr account tonight and make one of them there fancy slide show things.

Have to hit the shower and go explore the city!

Had some time to myself and thought I'd just get a few of my thoughts down. Not for any real reason other than going back and reading over them when I had a few more moments to myself at another time.

Lately (the past couple weeks) I've felt a bit off. I'm not sure if its being here in Keith's hometown with him or not ... but I can definitely agree with it being my setting that's effecting my mood. Oh well enough of this I'm just going to get right to it otherwise I'll be sitting here all day.

I feel ugly. In a whole, ugly. I don't exactly know what's made me feel this way - but I have a few ideas. I've never felt so self conscious as I have the past few weeks. If I could wrap a parachute around myself and it hide all of my body I'd be perfectly happy with that.

Keith and I were in the city the other day - and there were lots of girls running around in what I have dubbed 'things I used to wear'. I was never a trend-setter. I was the thrift store shopper that piled on clothes into what my parents called The Bag Lady Look ... but evidently its popular here. ANYWAY. I felt strange seeing these girls around 25 (my age) wearing things I wore when I was 17. Of course Keith didn't know me then and simply saw it as cute and said "ya know you could totally still wear that stuff .. and besides its cute!" So we went to a thrift store and I was scared to death.

He kept walking off saying "You find your look .. I'm gonna walk around in this bright pink flamingo shirt and be awesome". I found all sorts of things that I would have happily worn 7 years ago .. but I couldn't force myself to even give them a second glance because all I thought of was how huge my tits are .. or how thick my waist is .. and I just couldn't do it.

I think Keith figured out something was up ... in the car he said 'You're beautiful' .. but even though I felt he meant it .. Its like I didn't really hear him say that. I heard the words come out of his mouth - but in my head I added stuff to it like: You're beautiful ... when no other women are around. or You're beautiful ... any time I have a boner.

I know I know its all so far fetched and stupid but I'm just hitting this 'emo' thing right now and I'm not sure why. I am sure, though, that it will pass and everything will get back to normal. In other news: I am wearing a skirt today.


SONG OF THE DAY!

Goodnight and Go by Imogen Heap (Ugh I love this woman!)

Say goodnight and go

Skipping beats, flashing jeeps
I am struggling
Daydreaming, been sitting, the corner cafe
And I'm left in bits, recovered tectonic, trembling
You get me everytime

Why'd you have to be so cute
It's impossible to ignore you
Must you make me laugh so much
It's bad enough we get along so well
Say goodnight and go

Follow you home
You've got your headphones on
And your dancing
Got lucky, beautiful shot
You're taking everything off

Watch the curtains, wide open
And you fall in the same routine
Flicking through the TV
Relaxed and reclining
And you think you're alone

Oh why'd you have to be so cute
It's impossible to ignore you
Must you make me laugh so much
It's bad enough we get along so well
Say goodnight and go

One of these days
You'll miss your train, and come stay with me
It's always say goodnight and go
We'll have drinks and talk about things
And any excuse to stay awake with you
You'd sleep here, I'd sleep there
But then the heating may be down again
At my convenience
We'd be good, we'd be great together
Go

Why'd you have to be so cute
It's impossible to ignore you
Must you make me laugh so much
It's bad enough we get along so well
Say goodnight and go

Wow so much stuff has gone on that I'm not sure where to start. I will start out by saying that all in all - mine and Keith's trip has gone off without a hitch and everything has been a blast.

I'm not sure how long this wifi connection will last so I'm not going to blog extensively - nor do I have any pictures to post yet (I said YET which means they will be coming!)

I've spent the past 7 hours walking around Chicago and my feet are killing me. I've mastered the art of crossing the street (sounds simple but in a city ... a REAL city there is an art to it) and I didn't even get harassed by bums! I've been obsessed with smashing pennies into little souvieners (its hard to explain) but its been a lot of fun.

We went to the zoo and we have lots and lots of other stuff we plan to do this week. I think there was mention of a museum and an aquarium. Not sure yet though.

Filming is still planned to start once I get back home after vacation (circa April 9th) and that's mostly all I have planned. I've really been trying to keep up with everything - but you know how it is when you're on vacation. I'll definately have to write out the entire story of the bus ride from Oklahoma to Illinois once I get a stable connection and stuff -- which will probably be once I get back home.

Miss everyone and hope all is well!

Well looks like there isn't going to be much going on this weekend in the ways of Keith and I hanging out other than maybe moving.

I'm not sure yet because he was off to talk to the apartment manager before he left for work - and he didn't come home for a break so I'm stuck clueless until at least Midnight (or later.)

I've packed up a total of 8 (or 9) boxes so there really isn't much left to do as far as packing goes. I haven't cleaned as I packed, though. I figured why let Keith completely off the hook, yanno? Not to mention there are all kinds of papers around here and I have no idea what's trash and what's not so I've been afraid to really do anything other than put things inside boxes.

You can really tell that its Friday night. Guys running up and down the hall yelling, girls cackling like banshees as they stumble up and down the stairs ... and its only 19:30! I mean seriously!

I like it though, really. All the sounds around here, that is. It reminds me that I'm alive. For so long I've lived in a form of isolation. Its the best way I can describe it. Even when I lived in my friend's basement there wasn't as much going on as there is here. On weekdays when things are 'quiet' as far as everything goes - there are still plenty of sounds. Every Wednesday at noon tornado sirens blare for a bit. Every couple hours you'll hear the roar of a jet overhead. Car alarms randomly start beeping and honking (usually at o'dark stupid on Saturday morning) and its all just fun for me to hear. I like sitting here on the bed reading and hearing someone walking by the door on the phone. Its a game for me, I guess. Since our room is by the stairs people usually stop to finish up their conversation right outside the door - so I try to guess who they are talking to before they walk down the stairs. Mom, Girlfriend, Dad, Brother etc.

Keith has been sleeping like crap lately - which in turn has been making me sleep like crap. I think he's stressed. We go on leave March 16th and we're heading up to Chicago to see his family and stuff -- and he hasn't told them about us getting married yet. Soooo I'm sure that's stressing him, on top of all the preparations and paper work we have yet to do in order to get my visa/passport for our move to the UK. I really don't mind all this sense of urgency and the hectic schedule. Its actually kinda fun. Even though my day-to-day routine is pretty mundane - his never is and I never know how his schedule is going to affect me.

So yeah we're possibly moving this weekend. I'm sure when we go on leave that I will take my laptop with me. I need to install the cam software so I can upload any pics we take and such.