PILLAGE!

Alright .. so my computer took a huge shit. I really think little gnomes snuck in over night and trashed it because .. well .. its just cooler to think of it that way. It was a small group of about 20 that went all John Wallace on my 'puter. Whatever! FREEDOM! Ffs. So yes, its toast.

Thankfully last year Keith and I bought this laptop to tide me over until we could make it to Missouri in order to gather the rest of my crappy belongings otherwise we'd be fighting over who's turn it is.

The upside is now we get to build MY computer .. the downside is that I have to wait until he goes to work to use his .. or just use this laptop. Luckily all the weddings I've booked are scheduled for when he's at work so there's no problem there.

He did however receive an e-mail from a 'fan' that is now offering wedding videos in SL. Okay so fans emulate that/those which they are a fan of. That's nothing new - but the fact that she was all like "Bebop Vox is my most favorite person ever -- but this is for those just wishing to capture a simple memory" .. Wow there's so much shit I want to say but I'll just leave it be. He keeps telling me things like "Who cares?! Let 'em do whatever they want. We have almost three years of a reputation behind us - they can't hold a candle to that." And he's right. I really need to stop being so competitive over this kinda thing.

I guess since I work so hard on everything that I just see it as a slap to the face. Not only what she said - but how she's gone about it. She's gone from being a mere fan, to making her own laggy ass videos, to now mimicking the business that he and I have spent three years building from nothing. Makes me wanna pillage! But, I have to be civil because as everyone knows there will come competition in any business - and you just have to rely on your own quality of work to bring you out ahead. And though I have complete and TOTAL faith in both his work and my own - it still grinds my gears. I'm petty like that, I guess?

The machinima thing has been a full time job for me for almost two years now. I'm constantly working, networking, researching, experimenting ... and Keith does too (though he's far more efficient with it) and it just makes me want to slap someone sometimes when my toes get stepped on is all. Of course I never do - but that doesn't mean I don't think about it!

I remember a time when all the designers used to feel the same way. They'd get all pissy when someone released an outfit similar to theirs etc and it kinda bothers me that I'm doing the same thing ... but at the same time my overly competitive nature won't let me just 'let it go' but I'm really trying this time. I know for a fact that my SL business is secure, but that doesn't mean that I'M secure, does that make sense?

It took over a year to convince folks "Hey Bebop isn't EVERYTHING" and to allow me to film or edit their wedding videos. I actually had to edit them secretly then let HIM break the news to them before I got any form of 'cred' on the machinima circuit. Even though I stood on my soapbox for MONTHS shouting "I am NOT riding his shirt tails, people!" it didn't matter. Now that I've established myself as a director, editor etc - this 'new kid' has really just rubbed me the wrong way. In a way it makes me want to bust my ass double time in order just to say "Nyah nyah" but I know that's immature. Why do I have to be so immature!?!

Alright so I'm just going to keep doing what I always do - which is just be a bit bitchy about it, then slowly rebuild my self esteem even if it may be for the wrong reasons. Spite is a powerful thing, my friends!

What I'd Really Like to Say:

I'll say it again tho (and I know she doesn't read my blog but ..) people pay for our service for a reason. We don't shoot bad angles. We don't have laggy footage (oh god we'd better not after all the money we spent on Keith's computer) and we don't use noob transitions. We pay for our software, and we're cinematic. We have never just slapped footage together and said "There you go! That's your video" (with the exception of JellyBean's wedding back in like 05 - we were noobs) and I really need to stop worrying so much about those that do.

Having FRAPS, Windows Movie Maker and some spare time doesn't mean you're BAMF. Sure, you can compete all you want to - and even though it bothers me - I welcome it. No I'm not a total bitch and I've even mentored a few people so as to make their videos better --- BUT --- none of those people whom I've helped have stepped on my toes as far as wedding videos in SL. Maybe I'm just too damn protective? I'm really not sure.

I have 4 weddings in the next 7 days. Not to mention there are some already booked for September. And damn I still feel bad at directing this ENTIRE post to that ONE girl who will probably NEVER see this - but I really want to get it 'out there' and Keith wont' let me talk to her to do it. He thinks its stupid and that I should just laugh at her while I cash out Lindens. I probably should - but damn! DAMN!

/What I'd Really Like to Say

Okay - I guess I'll go play Neopets or something in order to cheer myself up by looking at cute cartoon animal things and while playing games aimed at adolescents that I still can't beat :( I suck.

Song of the Day

Go to Hell by Milk Inc