PILLAGE!

Alright .. so my computer took a huge shit. I really think little gnomes snuck in over night and trashed it because .. well .. its just cooler to think of it that way. It was a small group of about 20 that went all John Wallace on my 'puter. Whatever! FREEDOM! Ffs. So yes, its toast.

Thankfully last year Keith and I bought this laptop to tide me over until we could make it to Missouri in order to gather the rest of my crappy belongings otherwise we'd be fighting over who's turn it is.

The upside is now we get to build MY computer .. the downside is that I have to wait until he goes to work to use his .. or just use this laptop. Luckily all the weddings I've booked are scheduled for when he's at work so there's no problem there.

He did however receive an e-mail from a 'fan' that is now offering wedding videos in SL. Okay so fans emulate that/those which they are a fan of. That's nothing new - but the fact that she was all like "Bebop Vox is my most favorite person ever -- but this is for those just wishing to capture a simple memory" .. Wow there's so much shit I want to say but I'll just leave it be. He keeps telling me things like "Who cares?! Let 'em do whatever they want. We have almost three years of a reputation behind us - they can't hold a candle to that." And he's right. I really need to stop being so competitive over this kinda thing.

I guess since I work so hard on everything that I just see it as a slap to the face. Not only what she said - but how she's gone about it. She's gone from being a mere fan, to making her own laggy ass videos, to now mimicking the business that he and I have spent three years building from nothing. Makes me wanna pillage! But, I have to be civil because as everyone knows there will come competition in any business - and you just have to rely on your own quality of work to bring you out ahead. And though I have complete and TOTAL faith in both his work and my own - it still grinds my gears. I'm petty like that, I guess?

The machinima thing has been a full time job for me for almost two years now. I'm constantly working, networking, researching, experimenting ... and Keith does too (though he's far more efficient with it) and it just makes me want to slap someone sometimes when my toes get stepped on is all. Of course I never do - but that doesn't mean I don't think about it!

I remember a time when all the designers used to feel the same way. They'd get all pissy when someone released an outfit similar to theirs etc and it kinda bothers me that I'm doing the same thing ... but at the same time my overly competitive nature won't let me just 'let it go' but I'm really trying this time. I know for a fact that my SL business is secure, but that doesn't mean that I'M secure, does that make sense?

It took over a year to convince folks "Hey Bebop isn't EVERYTHING" and to allow me to film or edit their wedding videos. I actually had to edit them secretly then let HIM break the news to them before I got any form of 'cred' on the machinima circuit. Even though I stood on my soapbox for MONTHS shouting "I am NOT riding his shirt tails, people!" it didn't matter. Now that I've established myself as a director, editor etc - this 'new kid' has really just rubbed me the wrong way. In a way it makes me want to bust my ass double time in order just to say "Nyah nyah" but I know that's immature. Why do I have to be so immature!?!

Alright so I'm just going to keep doing what I always do - which is just be a bit bitchy about it, then slowly rebuild my self esteem even if it may be for the wrong reasons. Spite is a powerful thing, my friends!

What I'd Really Like to Say:

I'll say it again tho (and I know she doesn't read my blog but ..) people pay for our service for a reason. We don't shoot bad angles. We don't have laggy footage (oh god we'd better not after all the money we spent on Keith's computer) and we don't use noob transitions. We pay for our software, and we're cinematic. We have never just slapped footage together and said "There you go! That's your video" (with the exception of JellyBean's wedding back in like 05 - we were noobs) and I really need to stop worrying so much about those that do.

Having FRAPS, Windows Movie Maker and some spare time doesn't mean you're BAMF. Sure, you can compete all you want to - and even though it bothers me - I welcome it. No I'm not a total bitch and I've even mentored a few people so as to make their videos better --- BUT --- none of those people whom I've helped have stepped on my toes as far as wedding videos in SL. Maybe I'm just too damn protective? I'm really not sure.

I have 4 weddings in the next 7 days. Not to mention there are some already booked for September. And damn I still feel bad at directing this ENTIRE post to that ONE girl who will probably NEVER see this - but I really want to get it 'out there' and Keith wont' let me talk to her to do it. He thinks its stupid and that I should just laugh at her while I cash out Lindens. I probably should - but damn! DAMN!

/What I'd Really Like to Say

Okay - I guess I'll go play Neopets or something in order to cheer myself up by looking at cute cartoon animal things and while playing games aimed at adolescents that I still can't beat :( I suck.

Song of the Day

Go to Hell by Milk Inc

Mean Girls Guide to SL

Huzzah! JellyBean decided to feature my blog as the 'blog to watch' .. at least for the week! I'm sure it was weird to have such a non descriptive descritpion. I know, I'm handful.

The Good - The Bad - The STFU

In WoW I belong to a guild, which is normal isn't it? We are a small guild in a RP server which means we run instances and do quests. No fun Durotar raids or anything like that for the most part (though I do pick fights with guards outside little towns and outposts just to start shit).

Anyway - so this guild of like 15 people max (even though nearly all of us are 70s) had a meeting. I was told this ventrillo guild meeting was 'mandatory' and that I had to attend. This being right after they made some stupid website through Guild Portals which I was told I had to sign up on. Alright I signed up on your stupid ass site that just tells me things that I could know if I logged into vent being as there are only 5ish of us that use Vent regularly. I even had to make a dumbass username (PooPooWagon) just to USE this site that I haven't even visited since I have made that account. Now you're going to tell me that I HAVE to attend this stupid meeting? Take a flying leap, alright?

For one, I'm a little bit opposition defiant and when anyone tells me that I have to do something I'm almost always inclined to just not do it at all - just to show you or anyone else just how little I actually have to do it. Two - I pay every month to play this game. Ok well I don't pay for it Keith does - but still that's my pop money! And when you take my pop money .. and start making demands of me .. I start debating which makes me happier .. pop or WoW. And sadly sometimes its just pop. In a game which I pay to play - I like to have fun. I like to not be bossed around by a bunch of 40somethings that think being the leader of a guild somehow gives them power over peoples' personal lives. Maybe it would be different if we were raiding Karazan or something .. which we aren't because only two people have the attunement and are too stuck on themselves to help the rest of us finish the last part ... whatever Anonymous WoW Guild - this warlock has other things to do betches!

Trip Hop is your Friend

For whatever reason I got a wild hair and decided to go to a few clubs in SL. Nothing has changed in the year or more that I've stayed away from the club scene. The same color events or attempts at getting people naked still happen. Let me sum up the entire club event list for you:
Best Ass
Back in (Insert goth color here ie: Red Black or leather though it isn't a color)
Devils and Angels
Naughty Schoolgirls


And ya know - the DJs are all the same too. They all play the same music as if they are all the same person or at least grabbing shit from the same torrent. I knew it was a bad idea to tell people the title of that song two years ago. Consider this my public apology because even I, after all this time, cannot stomach to hear that fucking Josie Nunez song one more time. I realize that many people believe this to be a new hip song but it isn't. That song is NOT awesome, people! It wasn't even that great two years ago when it was lilke 3 years old! And if I hear Pink - Oh My God one more time I will choke a bitch. What is wrong with people?!

I used to DJ in Second Life but stopped after I was told I had to stop playing what I like and take requests. Normally I wouldn't care if everyone else had at least tolerable taste. I don't mind entertaining people .. but ya know I have to listen to that music too. Oh and Respect by Pantera isn't a new song either - even though people treat it like it is. Pft people that song was out when I was like 10 at least if not younger I swear.

And playing music through SAM doesn't constitute as a live DJ. Any monkey can do that. Also? I get sick of the 'howls' at clubs. Come up with a new gesture to use - same goes for that 'Yeeehaww' shit. I won't even go there - but I've had my fill of rednecks IRL for the rest of my RL thanks. And I'm talking HeeHaw shit people! /rant

Blog Censorship

I love the fact that Six invited me to write for Appearance Mode way back when. She and I have been friends since we were both pretty much noobs - and she's grown to at least tolerate my opinions and views on things. The problem is: I have to censor myself on her blog. She says not to outright bash anyone - which I don't do even here on my personal blog (except that whole guild thing up there ^^) And here's a part that I'll just call:

What I'd Really Like to Say

Dear Blogger,

Your posts are too long winded and never have anything that I personally want to read or check out - and have probably already bought a year ago - or would just never buy. I feel your fashion opinion is biased to a small group of your designer friends or people who are paying you off with h0r skirts and bad hair.

I don't enjoy reading your posts because its always the same name drops and generic products that I'm never interested. I actually try to scroll past your posts to see if anyone else has posted anything. Most times they haven't so I do have to congratulate you on carrying the weight of the whole blog on your own shoulders - I could never do that.

I will say though - if no one else will stand up and out post you - I will. I will make sure that my daily post contains things wich go outside your tiny box of your idea of fashion and barbie-mindedness will be matched against my smart mouth, fast wit, feminism, and overall hate for that which is the 'norm'.

Consider this a call to arms.

Sincerely-

The Non Ass Kissing Blogger