Tuesday, March 06, 2007

O M F G I am so worn out. I've been scrubbing this place meticulously for hours now. I've been on my hands and knees washing, scrubbing and waxing floors and I'm about to just start crying. All that's left to do is wax ONE more floor, vaccum, steam clean the carpet and move furniture and I am DONE. I only hope it'll pass inspection after all my hard work :(

Being out of here will lift a little stress. My little cousin called me last night -and it totally surprised me. I'm not particularly close to my family at all ... but she called. Why? Because she just wanted to. That and she turns 21 next week and wanted to hang out. Her husband is in the Air Force also - and stationed at the same base Keith and I are at. So yeah I guess he and I are going to hang out with some of my family next week.

My knees, neck and legs are killing me soo bad right now. I'm just worn out. I know, I know I shouldn't whine. Keith is probably just as tired as I am and he's at work right now - and may not be home for 4 more hours - AND he has to work this week end. So really I have nothing to complain about.

He told his parents about us getting married and I don't think they took it all too great - so that has me feeling guilty on top of being worried. I don't care if they never like me. I don't care what kind of preconceived notions they have about me ... I just don't want him upset and I don't want them to be upset at him. Why am I so damn protective? For the past few days I've just thought to myself "Yeah I can't wait to sit down at a dinner table with them and explain how its impossible for us to have a conventional relationship - much less a 5 year courtship like they'd -want- us to have - taking into consideration Keith's career choice." I really don't think his parents understand how the military works. I think he's just been the "good one" and even though they talk to him they don't listen to what he says. I know for a fact he's tried to explain everything to them - but they simply don't 'get it'. His mother doesn't realize that if Keith so much as has a headache that he has better health care than both his parents combined. I know she doesn't realize how well he's gotten fed the past 2 years because she asks him if he eats all the time. They've never been around it - they don't know.

But yeah at the same time I feel so bad for wanting to set them straight. I feel like I'm being way too confrontational to people that I should be somewhat submissive to. I understand that he's the baby. I totally get the fact that they now feel left out of his life since he doesn't live within driving distance. I don't know how to really put how I feel - but I know that even though there is absolutely nothing wrong with how I feel - I feel bad for even feeling that way. I just hope things are alright.

Keith and I have to take care of a few things tomorrow - but all in all we're off base. I think Wednesday is when we're going to hit up the county courthouse and get married so that I can get all my paperwork started. Even though we get one thing done - here comes another we have to do. I'm totally not looking forward to packing all that stuff back up - bring it back on base - and have someone else pack it up for us to ship to England. What a pain! Oh well.

So here's the song of the day! I heard it while I was scrubbing the bathroom and now its in my head :P Enjoy

Dark Blue by Jack's Mannequin


I have (I have) you breathing down my neck (breathing down my neck)
I don't (don't know) what you could possibly expect under this condition so
I'll wait (I'll wait) for the ambulance to come (ambulance to come)
Pick us up off the floor
What did you possibly expect under this condition so
Slow down.. this night's a perfect shade of

Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room when I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning down
Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning 'til there's nothing but dark blue..
Just dark blue


This flood (this flood) is slowly rising up swallowing the ground
Beneath my feet, Tell me how anybody thinks under this condition so
I'll swim (I'll swim) as the water rises up, the sun is sinking down

And now all I can see are the planets in a row
Suggesting it's best that I slow down
This night's a perfect shade of

Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room when I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning (burning) down
Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning dark blue


We were boxing
We were boxing the stars
We were boxing (we were boxing)
You were swinging for Mars
And then the water reached the West Coast
And took the power lines (the power lines)
And it was me and you (this could last forever)
And the whole town under water
There was nothing we could do

It was dark blue


Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning (burning) down
Dark blue
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you
I said the room could be burning now there's nothing but dark blue


If you've ever been alone in the dark blue
If you've ever been alone you'll know (you'll know)

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