Upcoming Projects

Alright so Keith has a wedding to film Saturday and I have one to film as well. I'm so so glad to be busy again! Don't get me wrong, the vacation was sooo awesome, but what did I accomplish while gone? Nothing. :( That makes everything seem like such a waste.

I have been planning to shoot a roller derby type music vid for over a month now - and I still plan to do it! Of course things are pushed back a bit due to contracted work .... but that's alright. It will get done when I get time enough to do it.

My biggest fear with these independent things I've been doing is that I'm going to bite off more than I can chew. I have this bad habbit of getting an idea in my head ... and I want it just how I imagined it, but I tend to forget that I lack the technical knowledge to make it identical to my vision. This leads to frustration, aggrivation, and in the long run I totally give up and scrap the whole thing. But I'm going to really really try to not do that.

Self Image

A while back I had posted on how my self esteem had gone down the toilet for various reasons. Well .. it isn't doing much better but now that we're back at home I've kept myself so busy that I haven't had opportunity to really focus on it for it to bother me. Yeah I saw a few celeb pics that made me whimper ... but I'm really not going to fuss with it. I mean seriously ... as far as celebs go they all but get paid to look the way they do. And me? Pft I let my personality do my talking usually. Well that and my totally inability to match. That seems to draw some attention too sometimes.

At any rate I'll just say that I'm over it and be done with it. When I'm feeling a little more aggressive and motivated I'll do something about my self image. But for now? For now I'm going to stay busy with staying busy and feel like I'm worth something instead of staying preoccupied with how I look.

Another thing ... I saw the lead singer of one of my fav bands earlier and was totally blown away. She's a big girl! And she's pretty! Kinda made me puff my tits out a bit. ANYWAY!

Song of the Day

So now to expose you to the woman who made my day. Today's Song of the Day is brought to you by Gossip :)


Standing in the Way of Control by Gossip

Your back's against the wall,
There's no-one home to call,
You're forgetting who you are,
You can't stop crying.

It's part not giving in,
And part trusting your friends,
You'd do it all again and I'm not lying.

Oh-whoa-oh, oh-ooh,
Oh-whoa, oh-oh-whoa-ooh.

Standing in the way of control,
You live your life,
Survive the only way that you know.

I'm doing this for you,
Because it's easier to lose,
And it's hard to face the truth,
When you think you're dying.

It's part not giving in,
And part trusting your friends,
You'd do it all again but you don't stop trying.

Oh-whoa, oh-oh-whoa,
Oh-whoa, oh-oh-whoa.

Standing in the way of control,
You live your life,
Survive the only way that you know, know.

Oh-whoa, oh-oh-whoa,
Oh-whoa, oh-oh-whoa.

Standing in the way of control,
We'll live our lives.
Because we're standing in the way of control,
We will live our lives.
Because we're standing in the way of control,
We'll live our lives.
Because we're standing in the way of control,
We will live our lives, lives, lives.

Ooh-ooh-ooh-oh,
Hey, yay, hey, hey.

Your back's against the wall,
There's no-one home to call,
You're forgetting who you are,
You can't stop crying.
It's part not giving in,
And part trusting your friends,
You'd do it all again but you don't stop trying.

Oh-whoa, oh-oh-whoa,
Oh-whoa, oh-oh-whoa.

Standing in the way of control,
You live your life,
Survive the only way that you know, know.