Someone mentioned suicide today on a blog. I was horrified to the point of almost tears reading the comments. Never EVER should mention of suicide be taken as a joke or a bid for attention.
My 'crazy' uncle Julian committed suicide December 23 2000. As time has passed we've (and by we I mean my family) learned that Julian wasn't crazy - he was mentally ill. He had depression and very likely schizophrenia. He saw no other option for himself because he had no support system. My grandmother (his mother) had just moved away. He was an ex Marine who had seen the ugliest side of war. His second marriage was failing, and he was probably more than worn out from being a cross country truck driver for 10 years.
He gave his friends plenty of warning signs. He boxed up all his belongings (including a massive arsenal of guns) and put them all in storage. He dropped the key off with someone, but left no explanation. He spent a weekend with his best friend after he had given away or stored away all his possessions. Julian had left a 3 page note which rambled but did not explain his reasons for suicide. He took his small pick up truck and a gun into the desert in Arizona and killed himself. No real explanation, no consolable insight. Nothing. He's just gone.
My family has not been the same since his suicide. We spent many years asking ourselves "why" and trying to see ways that we could have helped him. What could have prevented his suicide was seeing the warning signs and taking action.
Here are some warning sings that someone is suicidal:
- Threatening to kill/harm themselves or expressing the thought of doing so.
- Talking/writing about death/suicide when such topics are out of character for them.
- Hopelessness
- Rage, uncontrollable anger and revenge seeking.
- Reckless actions or getting into risky situations without thinking twice.
- Increased alcohol or drug use.
- Withdrawing from friends/family.
- Giving away possessions.
In the US ALONE someone takes their own life every 17 minutes. Suicide has been in the top 10 causes of death in the US for the past 50 years and the number of deaths due to suicide rises exponentially every year.
90% of the time the cause of suicide is untreated depression.
Listen, life is hard. Holding onto your life when your knuckles are already white from the grip that's loosening is hard- but there are people who can and will help.
You may think things are bad and that you don't want to live any longer. But when you go, you are taking a piece of every family member and friend with you. Some of those people may even wish to join you when you are gone. It is a cycle that will repeat.
Your life is precious to someone whether you see that or not.
Depression IS treatable. Suicide IS preventable. Suicide is a PERMANENT solution to a TEMPORARY problem.
There are numbers you can call to start down the road to seeking help. If your loved one had cancer - wouldn't you see to it that they got the care they needed? Depression is no different.
In the US
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
1-877-Vet2Vet (1-877-838-2838) Veterans Peer Support Line
1-800-SUICIDA (1-800-784-2432) EN ESPANOL
1-800-PPD-MOMS (1-800-773-6667) Post Pardum Depression
Volunteers are what make hotlines such as those I listed above. Please consider becoming a volunteer: http://www.hopeline.com/volunteer.html
